Ep. 63 The World Needs You to Engage

I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the Individual. Episode 63 The World Needs You to Engage so this week I am going to interrupt the series of guests and interviews that I've been sharing, which, by the way, I seriously hope that you've enjoying. I just have been so inspired by these women and I always love sitting down to chat with them and learning about how they're approaching their passions and sharing their influences in the world. And it's always so fun to see that ripple effect that they're creating for their families as well as their communities. And oftentimes it's not something that they can really notice until they look back and then they reflect on the work that they've been doing. So it's pretty fun to do these interviews and then just go with the conversation and see how it unfolds. I love the process and I'm looking forward to sharing my next couple of guests in the coming weeks.

I think you'll really love them. But I wanted to push pause in the interviews just for this week because I had an experience that I've really been pondering on. And typically when I ponder on it for a while, I just know that I need to write it out as a podcast episode so I can find some conclusions or draw something from it.

But I think this one is an important topic for all of us as we strive to create that atmosphere and that village that we want for our families within our communities. So I was recently part of a situation that required participation from several different people. There was an end goal in mind, but there were several different ways to get to that end goal. And we could have done things how we had done them in the past, but there's always new ways and new approaches available to us.

So when this end goal was presented, several of the key players that were called to take action or at least offered an opinion on the approach, they didn't act, they didn't respond, and they didn't offer their critical thinking skills, so they didn't engage in the conversation, while others did engage in the conversation. And those who engaged, they decided to do things differently than had been done in the past. Well, as you know, when things are different, there needs to be a heavier dose of communication to share those differences, those differences in approaches, and kind of explain the reasoning why we're taking that approach.

That's different. But sometimes those reasons aren't shared, sometimes they are. And when that info isn't shared, people will then fill in the blanks with a narrative that they're used to. It's the natural humanness right. When we don't have the information that we need or think we need, our brains will automatically fill it in. And they'll fill it in with that narrative that could potentially be completely opposite of the truth, but that's a result of each person's perspective and life experiences as to which narrative they choose to fill in the blanks with.

So we had this situation where an end goal had been presented to a group of people. Some of those people engaged in the conversation and some of those people chose not to for whatever reason. Well, as a result, when it came time to make and employ a plan of action, those who had engaged in the conversation and were willing to do the work found ways to accomplish a goal. And it didn't sit well with the other members of the group who chose not to engage from the beginning. And those who chose not to engage in the conversation were representing groups of people that also had opinions on how things should have been handled.

So all sorts of human behavior naturally started taking place and narratives started flying. Messages got misinterpreted, coping skills and defense mechanisms kicked into play and other people were brought into the scenario to validate each person's stance. Well, communication and miscommunication became a big issue and emotions started to build. You know this. We act from our emotional state when we are feeling defensive, unheard and less than. We take different actions than we would normally take, when we're feeling valued, heard, confident and open to new ideas.

But it's not the actions of others that determines our emotional state. It's our narrative. And it's the narrative that determines whether or not someone will engage in a conversation or a task. We live in a time where many people have disengaged with life, with their communities and their families. This disengagement is breaking down our connections and causing stress, contention, frustration, where there doesn't need to be such things. I believe that many of us are working towards similar goals, but we have different ideas on how to get there that is beautiful and wonderful and it's how we evolve as a society.

But the real concern comes when we choose to disengage, when we choose not to speak up, when we choose not to show up, when we choose to let others speak for us, when we choose to override another person's ability to speak up and show up and contribute when we do the work for others. So, friends, how will you engage in your life this week? How will you engage in your relationships and your communities? Whether or not you choose to engage or disengage is up to you. If you notice that you are frustrated, hurt, angry or feeling less than, take a look at the narrative that you're clinging to and notice where you've put the blame.

Are you blaming others for hurting you? Or are you accepting your responsibility and your role in the situation? It can be a humbling opportunity. And I would offer that humility is what we need as we seek to reengage with life. Humility is not something that we can create for others. It's something that we must first create within ourselves as we develop an attitude of humility. I challenge each of you to reengage with life. If someone asks you a question or seeks your input on a situation, share your thoughts and your ideas with humility. Be with love for others, with love for yourself, and with confidence. We are counting on you to engage in positive and effective ways. Now is the time to show up.