Ep. 9 200 Pound Tractor Tire

This is Lacey Jones. And this is Episode 9 200 pound Tractor Tires. It is time to dig into another fun week on the podcast. I am so excited to go over this 200 pound tractor tire. It is a concept that has been just kind of ruminating and brewing in my head on how it might apply to our coaching situations that come up as we work people through their thoughts and their feelings and these actions that they're taking and not taking and wondering why they're getting certain results in their lives.

All right, so this 200 pound tractor tire, where does this come from? Well, the other night my husband and I were watching this episode of a show. It's called from fit to fat to fit. And in this episode, a personal trainer was working with a client who was trying to lose this large amount of weight. And in order to kind of empathize with his client and really understand the difficulty and realities of trying to lose this large amount of weight, the personal trainer deliberately put on 60 pounds over the course of a couple of months.

And then as he started working with his clients, he completed the workouts alongside of the client in an effort to lose the weight and get back to his starting weight. And to do this weight gain, he was eating large amounts of fast food and just fatty and gross foods. One at a time may have seemed appetizing, right? A slice of pizza here and there, super awesome and yummy.

But the amount that he had to consume to bulk up to where his ultimate goal was, it was really just nauseating. I don't know if it was just the editing or what, but they did a great job of kind of grossing us out as the audience as we watched him consume mass amounts of high caloric and fatty foods. And you could see just the physical strain it was taking on this trainer. And not just the physical strain, but the mental and emotional strain that he was going through and how it was affecting his psyche and his relationship, like with his wife and his kids. And so while he's packing on the weight, his client has started to lose the weight and he's making progress towards his goals.

So I guess they're both making progress towards their goals at this point. But when they meet up and they start working out and kind of cleaning up what they eat, the trainer has hit this 60 pound weight gain and the client has lost almost as much or more than the trainer has put on. So during the workouts, you can see just the sluggishness of the trainer. That what he's going through.

And not only has he put on the weight, but he has stopped working out in order to do the weight gain. And it's just so fascinating to see how these choices have really affected this man. Like the whole part of this man, emotionally, physically, spiritually, I would gather on this one and just with his relationships. So these men, they're starting to work out. And at one point, the trainer has the client flip this 200 pound tractor tire the length of a football field. Like, I can't even imagine picking the thing up, let alone flipping it down the football field. And the client, he can just barely lift it. It's heavy, it's awkward. And it's this obvious burden as the client struggles to pick it up and flip it over. And I don't know, just awkwardness. It's like when you're trying to pick up an awkward Amazon box from the porch. And it may not be super heavy like this tire, but just the sheer size and weirdness of the box. And you just look like a silliness on the porch as you try to haul it in the house. That's what's going on with this tire. And the trainer explains that he has chosen this particular tire because it's the same weight as what the client is trying to lose, the 200 pounds.

And seeing that 200 pound tractor tire and trying to physically move it, it just becomes so obvious to the client and myself as the person watching the show, this burden that his body has been carrying through his life. And it was such a powerful object lesson. And so I wanted to take that visual aid and spin it and use it for us today.

All right, so we've got this 200 pound tractor tire. I want you to think about where it would fit in the model when we talk about coaching and working on our own emotional well being. So the model, if you remember, we start with our circumstances in life. These are the everyday facts of life. It's things we could all agree on. And when we experience life, we have a thought about our different experiences.

We have a thought about people and what they say and what they do or don't do. We have a thought about the weather and traffic and the environment and the government and our church and our faith system and policy and our kids and their choices they're making our spouses, our neighbors, the person in the grocery store, right? We have thoughts galore about the circumstances in our lives. These thoughts are things that we don't all agree on. They are optional, but because we are human and we've been having thoughts for years upon years. If you're listening to this podcast, I'd guess you're probably older than three years old, so you've been having thoughts for years. They are ingrained within us. They are often referred to as our perspective on life. Now, these thoughts are going to generate feelings within us. And these emotions, there's this whole platter of emotions that are available to us. These emotions are created by the thoughts that we think about the circumstances in our life. Our emotions are not created by our circumstances. The traffic does not create peace and love or anger and frustration.

What you think about the traffic is what's creating whatever emotion you're feeling as you sit behind that steering wheel. And when you're in a state, a certain emotional state, you're going to take certain actions. You might also take inaction and just not do anything. Things that you want to do but you don't know how to do. Because you're in a certain emotional state, because of your actions or inactions, you will get a certain result in your life. Now here's the kicker, the spoiler alert, the moral of the story. Your results will mirror your thoughts.

So when it all boils down, you, my friend, are responsible for the results that you have in your life and the ones that you want to achieve in your life. It is beautiful and it's empowering. And one of the most beautiful moments as a coach is when I can take a client. They come to me. They're not maybe not feeling so hot about a certain situation in their life and they are really struggling. Maybe they're struggling in the relationship with their child or with an in law, right? Or something that someone said at church or something that someone said at work.

A manager, a boss, a coworker. They're just struggling and they're trying to find their way out from under the weightiness of it. Well, I can help that client put all the pieces to the model in the correct order to find where their power lies, where their agency lies, where the choice lies for them. And it's beautiful because it's empowering. When they see how much their thought process is either keeping them neutral, holding them back, or moving them forward. It's beautiful. So much like this trainer created this visual aid of a 200 pound tractor tire for his client. My job as a coach is to show how the 200 pound thought is holding my client back. So I want you to think about all the emotions we have available to us.

And if we think kind of on a continuum with neutral in the middle and kind of light and fluffy and fun, let's say on the right hand side and on the left hand side, heavy and dark emotions that are not fun, that sometimes we want to escape from. Okay? So in the middle, let's talk neutral. That's going to be maybe a feeling of contentment or feeling calm, just kind of whimsical, easy, breezy, chillin, right? That's in the middle.

Now, if we go a little bit above that, maybe we're pleased with life or a situation or a person, then we move to happy. Maybe love comes next and then ecstatic, right? You can fill in any emotions you're thinking of in between those. That's just kind of a general way that we move along the continuum from kind of a neutral emotion to a more positive, light, energetic, fun emotion. Okay? So let's move the other way on the continuum from neutral over to the heavy, darker emotions. If we're going to go from content, let's go to the left to maybe bored or disappointed or sad or frustrated and angry, disappointed and rage. Those emotions get heavier and heavier and heavier as you move towards the left. Now, there's one reason why they get heavy.

It's not because your teenager won't do his homework. It's not because you have discovered a secret relationship from your teenager. It's not because your kid is a jerk. Right? That's not what's causing the frustration, the anger, and sometimes the rage. When it's 10:00 at night and the homework still isn't done, the cell phone's still not turned in, lights are not off, they haven't had dinner, laundry is not done and no one's taken a shower, that's not what causes that. It's our thoughts about the situation that add the weight to our emotions. So the real weight, while emotions are weighty, there's another piece to the puzzle, right? Our thoughts. Our thoughts can create an even heavier tractor tire for us. So if you're in a situation where you are feeling stuck, where you may be on repeat with your thought process and you can't quite kick it, and you just want to move on, you just want to put down that 200 pound thought so that you can progress to a lighter emotion.

We have to identify what that thought is. That's my job as your coach, to work you through that process. And oftentimes when a client comes to me, they want to just keep packing that tire, that 200 pound emotional thought with them. Yes, Lacey, I want that. I want peace in my relationship with my teenager. But Dang, he's just a jerk sometimes.

But man, they are difficult. I wish they would make better choices. Well, here comes that 200 pound tractor tire just rolling on behind you. What benefit is that to you and your relationship? Let's put it down. If you imagine the trainer and his client as they roll that tire down the field in a football stadium, when that client is able to drop the tire and that trainer says, sprint up those stadium stairs, leave the tire, here what happens. The client can run and sprint up those stairs without the tire. He can reach the peak where he wants to be. He can say, thank you, dear sweet tire, for all the time you've spent in my life. It's time to say goodbye. So here's my challenge to you. What is the 200 pound thought that is holding you back from developing a better relationship with your child? If we're pinning our emotions on our children or our spouse, or our in laws, or our outlaws, as everyone says, inlaws and outlaws, right? If we're pinning our emotions on them, we're not taking responsibility for our agency.

You can put down that tire. You can work through to a new thought process that brings you along the continuum of lighter, more friendly and open and beautiful emotions. If that's what you want. It's not to say that all emotions that are heavy and dark are bad or wrong. They're just oftentimes not useful in creating a more loving relationship with your child. Your child does not have to change in order for you to build a stronger, more meaningful relationship with that child. I know this for a fact. I've seen it work not just with my clients, but with myself. So one more time. What's your 200 pound thought? That's time to put down. If you need help, please reach out. This is my jam.

I love coaching my clients through this 200 pound weight loss. Right? That's how I should market this 200 pound weight loss. And you'll have a better relationship by Friday. Can't guarantee the results by Friday. But I can help you move along the continuum to a better relationship. Thanks for listening, my friends. I hope you have a beautiful week. We'll see you next time.