Ep. 18 with Shannon Jex

I'm Lacey Jones and this is Elevate the Individual, episode 18 with Shannon Jex. I attended Veterans Day assembly at the high school where I was subbing, and it was the school's first all school in person assembly since 2019 due to the pandemic and the previous COVID protocols. So it was a big deal. And the student leadership team welcomed several veterans from the community, sharing information about each veteran and their service as they were escorted along the red carpet to their seats. And then these two very talented sisters sang the national anthem and the choir and the band, they performed the Armed Forces medley. And it was so well done. And the 1500 plus students in attendance, they were kind. They were respectful for the duration of that assembly. And as the keynote speaker, who's also a veteran, encouraged the students to seek some form of higher education, he pointed out that in this day and age of technology, that the record of their choices can quickly travel the world with just one little push of a button and that it's nearly impossible to fully erase everything they wish they wouldn't have said or done.

Right?

And he encouraged them to make wise choices as they carve out their path in life. And then he challenged the students to become good citizens by contributing to the greater good of society. As he quoted JFK's famous inaugural address in saying, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. So with that, I turn to you, dear listener, in what ways are you asking your country, your state, your city, your school district, your teachers and your administrators what they can do for you? And in what ways are you demanding they change for you? Now, what ways are you asking what you can do for your country, your state, your city, your school district, your teachers and your administrators? How are you using your unique talents to show up and serve the education system in your community? Our very special guest for this episode is an example of one mother who stepped up in a unique way to serve our community and the 24,000 students within our school district by strengthening her own mental and emotional health. She was ready and willing to serve when an opportunity presented itself. So without further ado, we will jump into that conversation.

All right, I am excited for our guest to join us today. This is the person that I go to when Amazon drops a package on my porch and we're not home, or if I'm missing flour for our cookies, or if we just need a dog for my kids to play with. This is my friend and neighbor, Shannon Jex. Welcome to the podcast, Shannon.

Hey, thanks. I'm glad to be here.

All right, well, I am excited to have you because you stepped up in a way to serve our community. That, to me, was I was kind of surprised by this and even realizing that it was an opportunity for someone to step into. And so Shannon, I'm going to have you kind of introduce the work that you've been doing within our school district.

And then we'll have some questions and.

Discussion about how it's kind of impacted you and the work that you're doing.

Okay, go ahead. Well, I don't know if it's an annoying habit or if it's good, but I read everything. So if there's an email that comes from the school district, I usually read all of the words. And I have found that when you do that, you can find opportunities that you might not be in the know about, like being part of this boundary review committee was not broadcast. They didn't send out a robo dial or a text message. There was just a blurb. And I thought, hey, I grew up in this school district. And in the early 90s, they were building schools kind of like crazy in this area because there was a massive growth. And I went to second grade. We moved to Kent when I was in second grade, then to first, but I started in second. Then they moved the boundary, and I went to another school for third and fourth, and then they moved the boundary again. And I was at another school for fifth and 6th. And I always joke that the longest school I ever attended has been college and that I just did not want that for my kids. So when the opportunity came up, I thought, I have some feelings about this and I would love to give my input and be a part of it because it's also one of those things that you just don't know how they do it until you're a part of it.

Oh, Amen.

Yeah.

I'm like, okay, can we just close the podcast right there? That is a huge piece, and we'll dig into that later with some of the feedback you've received is that sometimes you just don't know until you're part of it.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And I figured I'm in a pretty good position having a high school student, a middle school student, an elementary school student, and then I wish I knew exactly why I felt the pole, because I'm very busy. You see me driving a million times.

The carpool.

Yes, the carpool, the drop offs. It's just a constant busy. And I have four kids that come to my house before school. I have two that stay with me all day. I'm going to school part time. But I did take the time to have 2 hours or so a week to be part of this committee.

Yeah. And that's something to point out.

Okay.

A couple of pieces from what you said. Number one, the information was sent out from the school district.

Correct.

You took time to read it.

Correct.

That's how you found out about this opportunity and the need it was given to you. It was given to all of us. Correct. You just took time to read it?

Yeah, I took time and there was an application you had to fill out.

Okay.

They were looking for certain demographics and certain ethnicities because they wanted to have an assortment of people. I think there were a few of us that maybe volunteered. I didn't get selected. I was an alternate.

Okay.

And so then as the work started and people realized like, hey, this is a lot, then I was presented like, okay, you're an alternate, would you like to be a part? And I was like, absolutely.

Okay. And I want to go into that. The purpose of the committee. And then what did the work actually entail?

Okay, so the purpose was that in our area of Kent, covington little snippets of, I don't know, we have unincorporated King County, we have a large area, it's huge. There's like 24,000 students in this area and it's 72 sq mi. It's a big geographical area. Yeah. And they haven't realigned the boundaries for twelve years, so it's been long overdue and with economy changes and COVID, there's been a shift in where we live. So it probably needed to be done a long time ago, but it wasn't. They did open a new elementary school, so they had to adjust some of the Valley schools previously, but it was time because there are misbalanced schools. Schools that are running at over 100% capacity and schools that are running at barely 48% capacity.

And with that, imagine the strain. Okay, so those are numbers on the page. Right? Right behind those numbers we've got students and teachers and admin who are trying to work with those numbers.

Right.

Imagine the teacher who's at 80% capacity versus a teacher or a school that's at 48% capacity and the strain on the two individuals. And so just kind of that rebalancing as you right.

Yes. And I learned that each child I could be very wrong in what I'm saying, so if I get this wrong, I apologize. But funding happens per child. So they do like a census basically, and then based on the number, based on your enrollment determines the funding each school gets. So if you have a high school that's under 50% capacity, they're not going to have the opportunities to have various languages and like the electives and different programs. So they're always going to have the core education, but the basic other opportunities are not going to be there. Where on the flip side, you have the schools that are bursting at the seams overflowing and they can't staff those. They have the funds, but they can't staff it. So if we are able to balance it all out, that creates a more equitable area for everyone to have a better educational opportunity.

Okay, so it's not just about numbers, right?

No.

About programs and resources and opportunities for the kids. It's not just about numbers.

Correct.

Awesome. Okay.

So that's kind of the purpose of the committee. The other question I had is you kind of alluded to how much time you spent each week, but what did it actually look like for your time commitment?

Okay, so when I started, they had us do they called it Natural Helpers, I think, which when I was a kid, there was a Natural Helper program.

And then for me, too. Yes, for a week.

And it was awesome.

Okay.

It was the best. And you learned to be a good listener and whatever. So I thought that's what it was, but it wasn't. It kind of was, but we had to talk about our biases that we might have and cool. Just learn to be I mean, kind of learn to be another listener again, but just really think about what biases and prejudices we might have and learn how to kind of push those aside and see the big picture and work together as a whole. That's awesome. Yeah, it was really great. It wasn't just 45 random people like, okay, let's start talking about where we want to draw the lines. We actually had some training on how to be a citizen of the community that we were being a part of, which was really great.

That's amazing.

You had to do that before doing the work.

Yeah, that was part of the work, was doing that training beforehand. Cool. So we would meet for about 2 hours on Thursday nights. I want to say in the beginning when we were doing that training that it was every other week.

Okay.

And then after about May so that started in the spring, March, March and April, it was every other week. And then May we kind of started to ramp up because we needed to make some decisions because of a timeline that was previously set to have things voted on at certain board meetings with the school district.

Okay.

So we started meeting weekly for 2 hours, which oftentimes they would go over like there would be an announcement, like, it's 08:00, we can end this, but if you want to stay, you can stay. And most of the time people stayed because we were talking about things that it just didn't feel right to just end the conversation, to end it. And they never went. Yeah, right. And then we did not meet in the month of July, but come the first week of August, we were back to 2 hours every Thursday. It was that way up until the middle of October when we had the first wait, it is November now. Where am I in the calendar? Then it was like, okay, now let's go to the board meeting as a group. And then after that, it was determined that there needed to be some community listening sessions. And so there was one at the four high schools for the past two weeks. And I just went to one of those, and one was enough for okay.

So the person leading your position, what position do they have?

So he is an Admin for the Kent School district.

Okay.

And I'm trying to think of what his official position is at the school.

But he's an Admin through the school.

He's an Admin through the school district.

Yep. Okay. Yeah.

And then there were a few district employees on there, like the Chief of building and Operations, the Director of Transportation, and his colleagues that plan the bus routes and the walking routes.

Okay.

They were part of it. So we had a good mix of people that really needed to be a part, and then the volunteers that were just exactly.

Okay, so all of this work that you've been doing, it's not something you're paid for, it's something that no. Right. You volunteered, you put yourself in this position to be part of it, which is really amazing.

Yeah. And same for all the other people. Like the teachers that are on there. They were not going to get paid extra. The admin. That's a part. It was all volunteer, but also part of their job, their salary job. But for the most part, the amount of hours spent were volunteer hours.

Okay.

Would you have done this, like, five years ago? Would you have stepped up and done.

This five years ago? So how old would my youngest have been? He would have been four. Here's the funny thing that I'm learning as I get older, when your kids are little. So five years ago, I had a four year old, a seven year old, and a nine year old, and I thought I was so busy. I thought I was busy. And then your kids get older and have more of their own opinions and their own desires, and you're like, I am so much more busy. Why did I think I was busy then? So I think if the opportunity was there, I would have considered it, and I might have hesitated just because, on the flip side, my kids needed me more. They needed my presence more, where now they need my presence, but on their terms. Kind of like, I need you for a ride when are you making dinner? And the occasional, I had a bad day, let's talk about it. But just the need is different.

Okay.

Kind of have the different seasons of life.

Yeah. Right? For sure.

Okay.

This has obviously impacted your family. It's impacted you, and it's definitely impacted our community. And on this podcast, we talk about kind of elevating the individual so that you can make a stronger, more positive impact on yourself, on your family, and on the community. So let's start with self. How has this impacted you by being a part of this committee?

For myself, I feel like I joke that I live in a bubble, and if you look at my driving history, there's, like, three bubbles that I circle and so I do kind of have a little bubble that I live in, but being on this committee, I had to expand my bubble a little bit.

Okay.

Mentally. Not physically, but just mentally. I couldn't just think about my kids and their educational opportunities. It became let's think about the 24,000 kids or however many there are in the district. And I found myself having to learn to listen more, not to quote Hamilton, but a little, you know, smile more, talk less, and to just give people the opportunity to say what they're feeling. I'm really good at jumping in with my thoughts sometimes. And so just for me, it was a good opportunity for me to focus on being a better listener.

I like that.

Yeah. And then think about, like, okay, how is this affecting what they're saying instead of just thinking about it from myself.

Okay.

And there's something within the coaching that I do where we teach that the circumstances of our lives are neutral. The words that people share, they're neutral. And when we bring our perspective and our stories and our thoughts to what other people say, it's going to create a certain emotion for us. And I wasn't going to go here just yet, but I think it's a great opportunity. You've received feedback. You've seen public commentary on the choices and decisions that this committee has presented to the board. Right. And obviously not all of that feedback is going to be positive. There's definitely some you and I joke about keyboard warriors out there.

Yes.

Use their energy in life to just spew forth not so awesome commentary on the work that other people are doing with that and becoming a better listener. How have you used what you've been trained like, that natural helper training to handle the feedback? There are some feisty people out there that are not happy, for sure. How have you managed the feedback?

Well, okay, so there is a discussion page that we have for our school district that I have chosen to not have it pop up in my Facebook feed. So it's not in my don't. I can choose to not see that feedback.

Okay.

So if it's not directed at me, I can choose to not be a part, which is I don't think that's a bad thing. Some people could say, like, you got to know everything that's going on when you're part of a committee like this. But to me, it's like these groups and forums. Sometimes they are just the keyboard warriors that need to get their thoughts out and feel like they are being heard by someone. Unfortunately, they're not directing it at the right someone's. And so the ones that did come to me, I had somebody say they were really concerned about what was going to be happening with their child, and they had purchased a home, and it is in a funny spot. You could throw a Frisbee and be in a different school district. But what people don't realize, and I didn't know until part of this group, was that the district doesn't determine the area they serve. That's determined by the state, by the OSPI, the office of the superintendent. When you buy a mean I don't know that everybody looks at the boundary of a school when they're purchasing a home or renting a home or choosing where to live. But when you buy one so close to an edge, I feel like it should be assumed, but it isn't always assumed or disclosed that you're on the border. There might be some shifting that happens here, just so you're aware. But this person said, I understand you're looking at things on a what did they say? A macro is bigger than a micro.

Right? Yeah.

She said, you're looking at a macro level, but have you considered the micro level of a child? And I thought to myself, like, if only you knew that.

Yes.

We're looking at the microscopic level of everyone, because we have tried to adopt the mentality that all 24,000 of these kids are our kids. We have to care about all of them.

Right?

Yeah.

And you can see this perspective because of the work that you've put in. Right. You've been there in the weekly meetings. You volunteered and stepped up. And I just look at that. You have to overcome a lot to volunteer for that sort of position. It's going to put a strain on your family. And then with the work that I have recently been doing, where I substitute in schools, I'm walking into a new situation every time, every day to a school.

Yeah.

I have to mentally coach myself to prepare myself, be like, okay, game on. I've got to get over any insecurities that I have as I walk into that classroom, because I'm going to be serving those students.

Right.

And I'm serving the teacher I'm subbing for and really trying to carry forward with the hard work that she's been doing.

Yes. And there's a different culture and climate in every school.

Yes. And so I just have to say, I was so excited when I heard him, like, man, you stepped up. I just think about all the personal work that you had to do mentally and emotionally to step up, to rearrange your family's life, to serve on the committee. And now you've handled it very well. I believe the feedback that you have and what I appreciate is and it's something we also teach in the coaching model is that we deal in facts. So when people come at you or come back at the committee as a whole right. In that generalization or the school district, the whole, they often will speak with generalizations and not facts. But when you respond, I have noticed you've tried to take emotion out of it, which very well. It's a very emotional situation. We're dealing with our kids here, and there's some mama bears and papa bears out there, and rightfully so. But the person who's receiving the feedback, you have to come from a place of factual information, and I think you've done a good job trying to share that. Like, hey, here's what we looked at.

Right?

Yeah.

And there's no way to make everyone happy.

There really is. Not at all. And I was at the listening session that happened at one of the high schools, and there was a mother there that lives in an area that it's actually not changing. She just really wanted it to change. And she had brought photos of her kids, and she had all these documents and everything, and I felt for her because I know you want your kids to be happy, and you don't want them to feel like they're being ripped away. But at the same time, if you can remove yourself emotionally from the things that you're working on, sometimes you can make work actually happen because you still have passion there. But it's like you're outside of yourself, which we have a hard time doing in this day and age a lot. We go to work for our family. Everything we do is kind of serving ourselves a lot of the time. But not to get extremely religious, but we know that when we step out of ourselves and serve others, that's when we can actually find some happiness.

Amen.

Right?

Like, when we serve others, we do a service to ourselves in all and finding that peace, joy, community aspect of it.

Sorry for my barking dog.

That's okay. We love your barking dog. I told you. I am grateful for your barking dog because it means that I don't have to have one in our family, and my kids can just open the fence and go play with your dog. So let's be real here. We're two moms trying to share information. This is our lives, right? But we're fitting this in on a yes, it is a Saturday morning, right? We're fitting this in because I think.

It'S fitting it in.

It's an important message to share. I really wanted to highlight how you have stepped up to serve your community, because I want to give examples of how moms can step up now, and I feel a little hesitation in it because moms can be overworked. Overburdened. However, as you mentioned before, when we serve others, it can buoy us. And I think there needs to be some work behind the scenes so that we can find a good fit for us and work through any anxieties or stressors or fears about stepping up and what that might do for ourselves or our families that impact. And so I look at this as an opportunity where you have this certain energy and personality and qualities and gifts personally, and you're able to use that to benefit yourself, your family, and your community. So how would you speak to others who are trying to find a more positive way to impact their family and community.

I think that for a long time, as the mom, I wanted to be the mom that if the kid needs a ride, the mom's going to take them. And my husband, when he's working, he works with his hands, and it's physical work, and I wanted to respect that. He's tired, and so I did not put a lot on him. And I've learned that it's okay to put some on him. It's a good opportunity for him to get to be in the car one on one with one of our kids while he drives them somewhere. It's been a good realization that he's capable of doing. Not that I didn't think he was capable of driving a kid to a class or whatever, but I just never wanted to put that kind of stuff on him because I felt like he was already at capacity with yeah. But I've learned that he is good at it and he kind of likes doing it sometimes and it's good for him to I mean, I joke sometimes that sometimes a mom can feel like a mom to their husband and that's dangerous territory to be in. But it's good for him to not be my fourth child, and it's not because he's asked for it, but sometimes I have put him in that part. I've made him my fourth child sometimes, and that's not what I want, and that's not what he wants. So it's been good for me to just put stuff on him, too, and be a team and work together to have these service opportunities. And it's been good for my kids to see that I am more than just their mom. I can be a community member. I can be a student. I've done all these things this year that have kind of taken me out of that only a mom role, which has been really good for me mentally. Like last summer, I think it was last summer in 2021 when my family had COVID, I thought, there's something wrong with me. And I went to the doctor and he's like, I told him, I feel like I have postpartum depression and I haven't had a baby. And it was really hard to put that out there. That that's how I was feeling again, especially not having a baby. I mean, I did care for a little baby that I loved, and I enjoyed watching her, but it just was like, what is going on with me? And then I was able to get some help through him. But I don't know that if I hadn't have taken that step, I don't know that I would have been able to put myself in the position I'm in with going to school part time and then volunteering on this committee that was 2 hours a week.

But that's a commitment you've got to schedule. When you think about I think about your family and all the things that you're scheduling, the extracurriculars, the need for kids homework, they want to be fed. You've got extra people, husband, wife relationship to just volunteer and say, yeah, I will take on two extra hours a week. I'll make it fit into our schedule. We will rearrange.

We will do that.

That's a big step up.

It is.

And I think it's important for I wanted to say at these listening sessions, and maybe I will at the board meeting, that being on this committee was not self serving to anyone. It was all to better our community. And so it also has taught me that if you don't step up and say the things that you want to see happen in your community, somebody else is going to do it for you.

And you might not agree with what they say.

Right.

Exactly. And it might not be the choice you want. It just felt like the thing to do.

I love it.

Okay.

Try to make this area a place for people to stay. And you've seen it. We've had so many friends leave this area in the last two to three years, and it's hard when they leave and you're like, all the good ones are leaving. We need we're still here.

Yeah.

And so this goes back. Another piece of the work that we're doing is that the answer is from within.

Right.

As we look at the public education system, I focused on how there are these frustrations for our teachers right now. However, our teachers really are the solution to the problem. So if you look at our district and our area and the concerns that we have, the answers are within. Our families are also part of the solution. And the work that you had to do personally to get yourself to a place where you could then step up for your family and your community. That's the work that we're hoping to do with this podcast and the coaching. And the work that I do with my clients is let's get you the mom and or the teacher to a place where you can step up. Use your gifts, use your talents. You are sacrificing time and energy, but you're doing it in a positive way to create a more positive outcome for the community. And I wanted to highlight that piece because others are stepping up in the way that maybe they were taught or they know how, but it's a negative energy.

Right.

It actually brings the community down. And yes, I wanted to kind of challenge my listeners, how can you use your energy in a more positive way to step up and lift where you stand? Right?

Yeah.

Lift your little area so that you can lift yourself, your family, and your community. But is there any, as we kind of close this out, any kind of closing thoughts that you've had about this work that you're doing?

I guess, if anything, the thought that. Came to mind right before you were asking that was there was no way for me to know. When I went to my doctor and said, like, hey, this is how I'm feeling, that at that time, school was in the far future, and I had never considered being part of a community or of a committee like I was. I liked volunteering in my kids schools, but I was kind of just in this little tiny box. But as soon as I started to feel better, then it's like, okay, I have some ability to make other things better. And when I went to college the very first time since this is my third round, go you. I know my grandma has said she was a teacher for many years. I have three grandparents that were all teachers, and my one grandma said that the best advice somebody had ever given her was to always have a course or something that you're doing that is just because you want to do it. My first year of college, I took bowling. My college had a bowling alley. I loved it. And this year, I'm taking a tap dancing class because there's not really online classes that I'm real passionate about. But it's hard to take that tap dance class. It's 830 on a thursday night. Like, I want to go to bed around 09:00 these days. But it has been so much fun, and that recharges me just enough to be able to keep doing all the other things that I'm doing. I think it's really important to just always find something for you. And I feel like as a mom of little kids, I really had a hard time doing that. And that any opportunity to leave my house, I was doing it. But now I have other things, like, I'm still leaving the house, but I can do something that I like. Like, being on this committee was helping me feel like more than just a mom.

Oh.

Amen. And the work in my different professions that I've done. And as I've considered changing to different professions or this or that, I realized how much I needed to use my brain in something outside of figuring out.

What was for dinner.

Yes, exactly.

And as I made those choices, one of the big questions for me was, but how do I find a way to be a leader? How do I find a way to think outside the box to complex problems and solutions? And the answer that came to me was like, you will find it. You just need to put your energy elsewhere. And so as we find that way to use our energy in a more positive way for the community, we're going to make change happen. And that's pretty amazing.

It is.

Shannon. Thank you. Thank you. I've been thinking about you. I've been wanting you on this podcast because you have stepped up in big ways for our community. And so if you don't hear that enough. Thank you for doing that.

Well, thank you.