Ep. 24 Inspiration from 31 Years Ago
I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the Individual. Episode 24 Inspiration from 31 years Ago. When I was in high school, I stumbled across a talk titled, 'The Tongue can be a Two Edged Sword' by Marvin Ashton that had been given several years prior. And the talk contains some just beautiful gems in the form of thoughts and calls to action to live in a more noble way. So as we close out this year and move into the next one, I want to share some highlights from the talk for you to kind of chew on and ponder on.
And this talk was written almost 31 years ago, well before social media and the Internet as we know it. But the advice is strikingly applicable to today's world and the problems we face. So I'm going to link the full talk in the show notes kind of towards the bottom there. For those who want to read or watch the full address for this episode, I'm going to start the reading from his second paragraph.
So Ashton states, in the world today, we are victims of many who use their tongues as sharp swords. The misuse of our tongues seems to add intrigue and destruction as the media and private persons indulge in this pastime. In the vernacular of the day, this destructive activity is called bashing. The dictionary reports that to bash is to strike with a heavy, crushing blow. Such a popular behavior is indulged in by far too many who verbally bash a neighbor, a family member, a public servant, a community, a country, a church.
It is alarming also how often we find children bashing parents and parents bashing children. Some think the only way to get even, to get attention or advantage, or to win is to bash people. This kind of behavior is never appropriate. Oftentimes character and reputation and almost always self esteem are destroyed under the hammer of this vicious practice. How far adrift we have allowed ourselves to go from the simple teaching if you can't say something good about someone or something, don't say anything, to where we now too often find ourselves involved in the bash business. Reports and rumors pertaining to misconduct and misbehavior are readily available and can make good ammunition for those who would injure bash or damage ugly reports and conversations are always available to those who would promote the sordid and sensational. None of us are yet perfect. We each have failings that aren't terribly difficult to detect, especially if that is the aim. Through microscopic examination, one can find in almost every life incidents or traits that can be destructive when they are magnified.
We need to get back to basic principles of recognizing the good and the praiseworthy. There will always be those in the days ahead who will be inclined to bash ourselves and others, but we cannot allow a heavy, crushing blow to destroy us or to deter our personal progress. Bernard Baruch, an advisor to six United States presidents was once asked whether he was ever disturbed by attacks from enemies.
He simply said, no man can humiliate or disturb me. I won't let him. So what is the antidote for this bashing that hurts feelings, demeans others, destroys relationships and harms self esteem? Bashing should be replaced with charity. Charity is perhaps in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really true charity is much, much more real. Charity is not something you give away. It is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive.
Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses and shortcomings, having patience with someone who has let us down, or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weaknesses and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other. None of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where we have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already well aware of the areas in which we are weak. What each of us does need is family, friends, employers, and brothers and sisters who support us, who have the patience to teach us, who believe in us, and who believe we're trying to do the best we can in spite of our weaknesses. Whatever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? Whatever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? Whatever happened to rooting for each other in the name of reporting the news? We are besieged with sometimes graphic depictions, too often in living color, of greed, extortion, violent sexual crimes, and insults between business, athletic or political opponents.
Imagine what could happen in today's world if each of us would vow to cherish, watch over, and comfort one another. Imagine the possibilities. One young woman serving in a Stake Relief Society presidency and at the time also laboring under the pressure of an especially challenging project, lost her temper one morning during a presidency meeting. The cause of her unhappiness had little to do with the question at hand and was related more to the fact that at the time she was laboring under intense home pressure on a major task and was feeling frustrated and frazzled afterwards. She was embarrassed at her behavior and immediately called to apologize for her outburst. Her friends in the presidency were generous and told her not to think another thing about it. Still, she wondered if they might think less of her now that they'd seen her at less than her best. But that evening the doorbell rang around dinner time, and there stood the other members of the presidency with dinner in hand. We knew when you lost your cool this morning that you must just be worn out. We thought a little supper might help. We want you to know we love you. The young woman was amazed. In spite of her outburst that morning, her friends were there to offer support rather than criticism.
Rather than seize the opportunity to bash her. They were filled with the spirit of charity. Be one who nurtures and who builds. Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them. Be fair with your competitors, whether in business, athletics or elsewhere. Don't get drawn into some of the parlance of our day and try to win by intimidation or by undermining someone's character.
Lend a hand to those who are frightened, lonely or burdened. If we could each look into each other's hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care. Let us open our arms to each other, accept each other for who we are. Assume everyone is doing the best he or she can, and look for ways to help.
Leave quiet messages of love and encouragement instead of being destructive. Now, before I close out this episode, I want to rewind just a bit and change the focus of the last three paragraphs to how we treat ourselves. I believe that as we come to better love and accept ourselves in our own journeys, we will more easily offer charity and love to those around us. After all, hurt people, hurt others. So imagine the impact of an individual who understands their worth and knows their value. So let's try this again. Be one who nurtures and who builds their own self esteem. Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in themselves.
Leave yourself better than you found yourself. Be fair with yourself, whether in business, athletics or elsewhere. Don't get drawn into some of the parlance of our day and try to win by intimidation or by undermining your character. Lend a hand to yourself when you are frightened, lonely or burdened. If we could look into our own hearts and understand the unique challenges we are facing, I think we would treat ourselves and in turn, others more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care.
Let us open our arms, accept ourselves for who we are, assume we are doing the best we can, and look for ways to help.
Leave quiet messages of love and encouragement instead of being self destructive. Now, as we dive into 2023, how will you give yourself the benefit of the doubt and extend true charity when you don't handle something the way you would have wanted? Will you see your true worth? Will you develop your light and share it with others? Are you ready to kick into gear this next year? Are you tired of being stuck knowing there has to be a better way? Well, let me help, because there is a better way, and we can totally do this together. So head to the website Laceyjonescoaching.com and schedule your free 25 minutes discovery call. They are so fun and you'll walk away feeling uplifted and empowered. I can't wait to see what 2023 has in store for you. Now, if you have already worked with me, please take a second to hop onto the website and leave a review so others will know the power of coaching. And if you have any questions, you can also click Ask Lacey to submit your inquiries. I'll put a link in the show notes below for both of those options. I'm here to help in any way. Cheers to you as you dig into the work.
