Ep. 34 Unlocking Your Talents While Raising Your Family

I'm Lacey Jones, and this is Elevate the Individual. Episode 34 Unlocking Your Talents While Raising Your Family. Before we dig in, just wanted to give a shout out for the webinar that starts on Monday. So in just a couple days we'll meet each day at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time via Zoom for just 1 hour. It's going to be Monday through Friday and I'll do a little bit of teaching and we'll dig into some live coaching. So if you've wanted to kind of tiptoe into all that coaching has to offer, or if you have a problem, it's kind of weighing on your mind, this is the perfect opportunity to join us and to get some personal coaching. And there is going to be a discount code. It's a new one. The last one expired that we had from last week's episode. So there'll be a new discount code at the end of this episode. So be sure to snag that before you sign up so you can save yourself some money and enjoy all that we have to offer next week.

I'm excited for it and I look forward to seeing you there. So if you listened to last week's episode, you know that I sat down and chatted with Sarah of Our Best Bites. And over the past 16 years she has spent countless hours and years developing her talents and sharing them with others on several different platforms. And on the surface she is known for developing fabulous and fun family recipes and tips and tricks for feeding our families and all these other fun creative items. But if you have ever created a business from scratch, you know that below the surface is a foundation of skills that really has to be honed before even debuting that surface level product. And while she's been featured on many large platforms and channels, she did not start that way. It was during the formative early stages of Motherhood that she and her then business partner started their journey. And I kind of wonder if we had sat down with them during those early years and told them that they were going to have this several well known cookbooks and hundreds of thousands of followers and that they were going to be seen on the Today show and in Better Homes and Gardens.

If they would have believed us, if we had told them that and knowing them, they probably would have been like, yes, let's get after it. We got this. We're going for it. And sometimes knowing the end from the beginning is a helpful motivational tool.

But what do you do when you get lost in the weeds along the way to becoming who God wants you to become? I believe that each of us has God given talents that we are here to learn about, to cultivate and to share with others. And that as we develop our talents and use them to bless others, we too walk away with even more blessings and experiences for our good.

But how do we develop these talents when we're in the thick of raising our families? And how do we develop talents if we don't even have a clue as to what they might be? Also, how in the world do you develop your own talents and skills while you're just trying to keep your head above water and keep your tiny humans alive? And how do you find the mental wherewithal to learn new skills when all of the extra mental energy is taken up with worry as we guide these squirrely tweens and teenagers through the wonderful middle school years and into high school? Well, where do you find the resources needed to continue your personal education when every dollar of the family budget has already been allocated? And what if you already worked two jobs on top of being the family CEO of operations and logistics? Well, number one, stop asking so many big questions and take a moment to dream with me.

Put down the worries and the stresses of life and motherhood and just dream with me for a quick minute. I promise you the worries and stresses will all be okay while we take a moment to think. So put on your dreaming cap and grab a pen and paper and let's start with these questions, okay? What's one talent that you think you could possibly have and that in the most ideal world you wish you could develop more? Write it down if you can, if you have that pen and paper. Did something come to mind? Or are you a little bit stumped? If you find yourself stumped and you need a little nudge in the right direction, ask your family, ask your friends, your peers, your coworkers what they think your talents might be.

Don't be shy. Remember, this is your time to dream without hesitation. We're not worried about time or money or energy or logistics or any sort of necessary resources at this point of our dreaming. Now, what do you want to do with that talent? What's one general thing that you want to do with it? Do you kind of have a general idea? Now get specific.

Can you think of a couple specific things you want to do with your talent? What is going to keep you moving forward when things get challenging? Now, ponder on this question, but again, don't get too lost in the weeds of all of it. Is anyone else doing what you want to do? How can you improve on what they are doing and add your own flair? If it's something that isn't currently being done, why isn't it being done? How can you add your personality and flair to the world to make that one thing happen? What new skills would you need to learn to accomplish your dream? And who might be able to help you in your quest? Is there anyone who could be your mentor? Now that we have a better idea of this talent that you want to develop and why you want to develop it.

Let's take a look at some of the resources you might need in order to grow and develop it. First, what resources do you think you might need in order to develop this talent? How much time might it take? Is this more of a marathon talent development, or is this a full on sprint to the new talent? What's your time frame? Are there certain agencies or businesses, schools or individuals that you need to hire to help you? How much money might be necessary? What connections do you need to develop? Now remember, do not let any sense of fear limit you in this stage of thinking and brainstorming and dreaming.

Fear does not exist right now. Plenty of time for that later. Now that you've pondered on all of that, let's think about taking some action. Again. I want you to start with the big actions. What are five or so large things that need to happen in order to develop your new talent? And after you identify those five things, break each one of those into four or five smaller pieces. And then, if necessary, break those into four or five even smaller actions. Keep doing that until things start to feel more doable.

And after you've broken everything into small pieces, I want you to identify one small step you can take today to move yourself in the direction of your dream as you develop your talents, think about one step you can take that doesn't require any money or use up any resources you don't already have. Maybe this step is going to take you about five minutes. Seriously, think small and if necessary, keep breaking the steps down into smaller pieces. Here's another thing you can do as you review and clarify your quest to develop your talents and gifts so that you can again share them with your world. Start taking mental notes of the potential resources around you and the ways in which your talent could bless the lives of those around you and also your own life.

It's really easy for us to get in our own way and build these mental roadblocks that prevent us from progressing our talents. We'll have this big grand dream of doing something amazing with our lives, but then we'll let all the excuses in that just block our ability to dream and progress. And once we start to see one excuse, our brain quickly finds the next one and the next one. And we don't always recognize when that's happening.

So what your brain searches for and identifies is based on the thoughts and beliefs that you feed it. For example, if I told you that black puffy jackets are so popular right now, everyone's wearing them, moving forward, you're going to naturally notice every person that is wearing a black puffy jacket. The next time you go to the grocery store or one of your kids sporting events. I have now brought it to your attention. And you're going to take a mental note of every black puffy jacket you see now, whereas before you wouldn't have even noticed that particular style of jacket. The thing is, if we can do it with black puffy jackets and the roadblocks to developing our talents, why can't we also do it with the tools that are necessary to grow and become better versions of ourselves? Our brain will respond to the stimulus that we provide for it.

It doesn't have to be all sunshine and rainbows, but let's proactively seek out stimulus that allows our brain to grow at least 50% of the time so that we're not 100% of the time dreaming then putting up roadblocks. Are you with me? All right, let me illustrate this even further with my own personal path to becoming a life coach and deciding to develop my own coaching business.

I've always been a creative soul. I love to create. And over the years, I've always had some little joby, right? This cross between a job and a hobby to feed that creative part of my brain that is seeking something more than just raising babies and running a household. And at one point, I was hosting craft nights for women in their homes with their friends. They'd come and work on a project that I had created. They chose their options. We got together, we painted, we slapped it together. It was tons of fun, right? And I noticed just how much women need connection and they also need validation.

And I noticed that if this was all left unchecked, certain frustrations and concerns would start to creep into the conversations while we crafted. And I saw how easy it was for some, not all of these groups to swing the conversations to thoughts and opinions that put others in a negative light, such as unsuspecting husbands and coworkers and church leaders and children.

And at that time in my life, I had also discovered life coaching and the Ctfar model. And I had personally grown and found a lot of peace by applying the model to my own life. Well, at the time, we were also trying to figure out my husband's job. We were serving in demanding positions at church. We had just welcomed our last baby to our family. We were in a new community, and the strains of family dynamics were extremely overwhelming. But coaching saved my sanity, and it helped me find peace through all of that. So as I hosted different crafting events, I knew there was an answer for the concerns that these women were bringing to their friends. And I saw the very real need for coaching. And I also saw the solution. I started researching how to become certified to teach the Ctfar model. And at that time, becoming certified seemed so far off. It was just too expensive for our family budget at the time. We could have purchased a brand new car and the logistics of spending a week in Texas for certification, those logistics were just not doable for our young family.

But I didn't give up. I accepted a job that seemed a little bit inconsistent with my goals and desires to become that certified coach. But I knew that we needed the monetary resources, so that's where I started. And with time, my personal talents and abilities and opportunities grew as a result of my position at that job. And with that, our income grew. And so paying for that certification, it just barely started coming into my view.

And just like that black puffy jacket, I started looking for ways to find that solution. And as I researched, I decided that I would start my certification in six months with the April cohort. And then I decided to tell someone about my decision. And once I verbally said it, the universe took over from there. And later that very same day, I received a call from a very random client through work who placed the largest order I had ever taken.

And because I was paid on commission, I now had access to the funds that I needed to start my certification. So I committed to it, and I signed up for the January certification cohort three months ahead of my planned April start date. I'm tempted to say it was shocking, but is it really so shocking that after studying, planning, preparing, and pursuing a new talent, that Heavenly Father would just fling those doors wide open to making it happen? I don't think so. And through the process, my faith and trust in Him has grown and strengthened. And I rely on that faith and that trust.

As I continue to develop my talents and seek to share them with others, he sees the bigger picture that I cannot see. He knows my talents and my spiritual gifts more than I do. As I draw nearer to Him, I am seeing more and more of what he sees, which then makes it slightly easier to take the next steps in developing my talents. One year ago this month, I decided to step away from that amazing, wonderful full time job and full time income to more fully develop my coaching and my business.

That was a big decision, and I would not have been able to make it if I had not already made that series of small decisions to develop my coaching talent. I had the resources and the people in place to help me make that decision because I had taken small steps of faith and pursued the development of this specific talent. Now, again, it's not all sunshine and rainbows as I dig deep to build a business, develop my coaching skills, and then continue to parent and show up in my marriage and provide emotional and mental and spiritual and financial support for our family. Sometimes it just gets cloudy and new doubts creep in. But it's during these times that I kind of zoom out and look back at what I've accomplished in the time since I first started dreaming about developing this particular talent.

Somewhere during this process, I set the goal to become a coach for one of my mentors. Not like her personal coach, but to coach with her and to coach her clients. Now, again, I wasn't quite sure how this was going to happen, but as I pondered on it and set the goal, the opportunity and resources appeared. And for five months, I was able to participate in a faithbased certification program that allowed me to coach for my mentor. That experience expanded my talent and further cemented my convictions that I can help women create the lives they want. I know that this is a talent and gift that I need to share, and I am not the only one who has a talent and gift to share.

I believe that each of us has at least one, if not many, more unique talents that we need to develop and share with others. I encourage you to take a look back at that goal work we did in January, sift through it and see if there's a new talent that you can develop or a forgotten desire that needs to be dusted off and pursued again. How can you bless your life, your family's life, and your community by pursuing your unique and God given talents? Your family needs you, your community needs you, and you need you.

As I previously mentioned, we chatted with Sarah last week, someone who has developed her talents and shared them with hundreds of thousands of mothers to help ease their lives. And she's added value to her family as well as the families in her online community. So, moving forward on this podcast, we're going to meet even more mothers who are in the process of developing their talents and sharing them with their families and others in their communities. So, to those who are weary, who are tired, who are slogging through the mud and the thought of developing a new talent seems to be too much, with all that life has to offer, I say start small.

One step at a time. Allow yourself to dream. What would you do in a perfect world? What would your first step be if you were to accomplish the dream with the resources you have available? If you need more help, please please attend the webinar next week. This is your opportunity to get personalized coaching for a fraction of the price. And you can do it from the comfort of your living room, cuddled up in your jammies as you fold the laundry, or as you take a brisk walk on the treadmill, or as you just sit there.

To each her own. We'll meet Monday through Friday for 1 hour starting at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time. And keep in mind as you sign up, that you can use the code friend for 20% off this week. That's going to expire on Saturday at midnight. So share that discount code with a friend so that you have a buddy to kind of process everything with. After a week of learning and growing is over again, holler at me if you have any questions. I'll put all the links and all the contact info in the show notes so that you have that handy.

And before I go, I have to leave you with this very famous Mary Oliver poem. You probably have heard it, but I just love the questions that she poses. It starts who made the world? Who made the swan and the black bear? Who made the grasshopper? This grasshopper, I mean the one who has flung herself out of the grass. The one who is eating sugar out of my hand, who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down, who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. Now she snaps her wings open and floats away. I don't know exactly what a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, which is what I've been doing all day. Tell me, what else should I have done? Doesn't everything die at last and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Take care, friends. I'll see you Monday at ten for the webinar.