Ep. 49 Comparison is the Thief of Joy
I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the Individual episode 49 Comparison is the Thief of Joy. Have you ever noticed that when you see a rainbow in the sky, clouds and raindrops typically precede the sunshine and the rainbow itself. If we consider the science of the rainbow, we learn that there are necessary ingredients that go into making a rainbow. And without each one, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the beautiful display of color. Clouds create raindrops. Light rays pass through the raindrops. The raindrops then break apart the light and organize each color into a beautiful and organized spectrum of color. As a woman of faith, I choose to believe that rainbows are a fun gift from God, a reminder that he can create something beautiful from the natural ingredients of dark clouds, rain, and light. When was the last time you saw a rainbow and didn't point it out to those around you? It is easy to revel in the rainbow and the majesty of its creation.
If we compare the creation of the rainbow to our human experience, we come to realize that clouds and dark times are a necessary ingredient to our human experience. The light is always there, and as the experiences of life shower down on us between the clouds and the light, we experience a beautiful array of moments that lead us to greater light and knowledge. How we interpret the rain will impact our emotional response and the actions we take. Each of us has unique gifts and characteristics that make up our light.
This light is ultimately a reflection of the light of Christ that lives within each of us. It's easy to compare our light and gifts to those around us, but oftentimes this comparison leaves us feeling less than or robs us of pure joy. But how does it do that? I recently spoke at a conference for the Young Sister Missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints serving in the Seattle area. These 60 plus sisters are young women ages 19 through 22, plus a few senior sister missionaries. If you want to be reminded of the good in the world, I highly recommend you spend time with any of these sweet missionaries.
These young women have chosen to purposefully spend a year and a half of their lives dedicated to teaching others about Jesus Christ and sharing his love and his light. In today's world, it seems an OD choice, but in today's world, it is simply what we need more of. These young women choose to leave the safety of their homes, their families and their comfort zones. They voluntarily sign up to put their lives on hold and accept the call to serve anywhere in the world where they might be assigned.
Their decisions are not taken lightly, as the next year and a half of their lives will be some of the most challenging times and also the most rewarding. These young women are asked to share the light of Christ by first developing and sharing their own light, a small reflection of the light of Christ. Now I heavily lean on the words of Scriptures and modern day prophets to come to know who I am and what my light is. Matthew 516 we read, Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven. As I share this message with these beautiful group of young women, I stress the importance of sharing their individual light.
The Scripture reads, Let your light so shine. What the Scripture does not say is develop your light in a way that copies or mimics your friend's light or be like everyone else. No, the Scripture says, Let your light so shine. Why do you think that is? Why do you think that we're encouraged to shine our individual and unique light? And how do we know what our unique light is? Well, I believe that before we can share our individual light, we must first seek to develop it.
The process of developing our light is the process of developing our unique gifts and talents. We each have gifts and talents within us that may sometimes need a little coaxing and encouragement. I mentioned the conference I spoke at yesterday. The ability to get up and speak in front of people is not something that I ever dreamed of or wished for. Had you told me in high school that I would eventually speak in front of large groups of people, I would have run away and hidden under a very large rock. The thought would have created instant panic and a general sense of doom. But with time, I have been given experiences and opportunities along with tools and knowledge on how to speak in front of large groups without passing out. I have chosen to say yes to things that push me outside of my comfort zone and away from that feeling of safety. I have taken time to grow and nurture my thoughts about standing alone in front of people and sharing a message near to my heart. I have learned and am still learning how to take criticism and praise. All of it is uncomfortable for me, but I continue to strive to improve my messages and deliveries because I know that I have the opportunity to share a light that others are seeking.
That light will bless others in ways that I may never fully know or understand, and that is what drives me to work through my thoughts of inadequacy and process any fear that arises. It is what pushes me to learn about true confidence and speaking from the heart. I believe this process of learning to speak publicly has helped me develop into a better version of myself.
As uncomfortable as it is, it also brings me a sense of pure joy as I seek to understand the Lord's version of how he sees me. As we all know, there is opposition in all things. The process of developing your personal light can bring joy, but it can also bring misery and anguish. If you fail to watch your thoughts and the narratives you choose to believe. It is easier to believe that so and so is way more capable of doing something than you are. But comparison has always been the thief of joy. When so and so does something and you very naturally think that she is better than you, it automatically puts you in a lesser position. This can leave you feeling discouraged. And depending on the day, you may then seek to find all the ways in which so and so is better than you.
And so and so'sister and mom and aunt and dog are better than you. Your mind engages in that confirmation bias as pieces of evidence pile in, and you in turn, treat yourself in a way that is less than your ability to treat others. You put yourself in a less than position and it feels like crap, the complete opposite of joy. But guess what? This is good news. That's right. If this is you, and you find yourself comparing yourself to others and feeling crappy as a result, I need you to know that nothing is wrong with you.
You are human, and this process means that your brain and emotions are working exactly how they are meant to operate. You are not broken and you are not beyond repair. It's simply time to gain an awareness of what is happening and understanding that it is completely optional.
You have been given the gift to choose and hold fast to the narrative that you want to live by. If you want to continue believing that you are less than the others around you, then so be it. That is your choice. But please understand that it will never bring you joy. It will never create the confidence that is waiting for you on the other side of comparison. Now, if you are ready to move forward in a way that honors the unique set of talents and gifts you've been blessed with, then please allow yourself to work through the thoughts of inadequacy that so naturally come up for you.
Allow yourself to understand where they're coming from and allow yourself to put them to rest. Thank them for getting you to where you are today, and let them know you will no longer carry them with you as you develop your gifts and seek to share your light with others. And each time that they attempt to join the party, thank them again for reminding you that you are human and allowing you the opportunity to make a choice. And I challenge you to choose to cling to the thoughts that generate love, respect and confidence within your abilities to grow and develop into the beautiful woman of God that you are. You have a divine gift and capacity for goodness and light. As you seek to develop that light, you will learn to put aside the things that diminish and rob you of pure, lasting joy and you will influence others to do the same. Give. Get ready to do something amazing, my friends. Thank you for being here. I'll see you next week.
