Ep. 54 Review and Reflection

I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the Individual Episode 54 Review and Reflection. Welcome back to the podcast. I have been attempting to write this episode for quite some time now. And when I produce an episode of the podcast, I do like to have a script that I can read from, speak from, improvise from. It just really helps my brain. It helps me cover the messages that I want to share. It keeps me organized, it prevents me from rambling. I cut down on the little filler words that I use and it just.

Makes editing so much easier.

And I like the message that I can share when I write it out. Well, for this week, I've been trying to reflect on an experience that I had on Trek a couple of weeks back and I've been trying to write it and it just hasn't been flowing. And so I finally said, forget it.

I'm going to just share it.

Like I'm going to add lib. We're just going to run with it and it's going to be a raw take and we're going to go for it this week on the podcast.

And in the podcast world, for production.

That side of it, there's a real big concern with what microphone are you using, are you using a soundboard? How are you recording? Who's editing? When you edit, do you take this out? Do you leave this in? How much do you clean it up afterwards? There's all of these questions because it is a piece that you're producing and the final sound and quality of that is just as important as the message that you're sharing. And so there's this real push for what is the perfect setup, right? And how do I convey my message?

Well, with that, I do listen to.

A lot of podcasts. And one of the women that I listen to, she is very well known, she is very successful in her business. And one day I listened to a podcast of hers and she was walking around the neighborhood, she had her air pods in. You could hear the wind. At times you could hear the message.

Other times you couldn't.

It was very raw. And she's like, my sound guy, my editor, they're going to just cream me for this episode. They are not going to be happy.

But it's interesting how when a message is being shared and we're in tune.

With it, the things that we will.

Tune out as we try to draw.

The connections within the message. And so I was willing to listen to her message and tune out those other variables because I liked what she was saying. And so some of you are going to be okay with this raw edit and production and you'll be able to glean the message from what I have to share. And some of you, it's going to drive you absolutely crazy that you can hear extra little things and that I.

Am thinking as I'm speaking and not.

Just going from a script, right? Like, whatever the variable is, that's different. Some people will appreciate it, and some people may not appreciate it as much. And so I understand that. But we're going to go for it this week and see how it goes.

Because as I spoke with Stephanie for last week's episode about Trek, there's this.

One experience that happened that I really wanted to give its own space because I feel like it was powerful for myself and the other person involved. I don't necessarily know 100% of their takeaway from the experience, but I know mine. And so I wanted to give it a space. I don't necessarily journal. This podcast has turned into a little piece of my journal. And I also like Instagram and pictures. That's my journaling. But anyways, along with all of this, as was mentioned last week, we did go on Trek. My husband and I and two of our children went on track. Trek is an experience that our church puts together for our youth group. This was youth ages 14 through 18, boys and girls.

And it's an experience, really, to push.

These kids and to show them that they are very capable of doing hard things. And it's kind of a manufactured experience, and there are some extreme variables in it.

We do go out in the heat.

Like, the weather doesn't have to be heat, depending on geographically where you are. It's usually in the summer. And as we've viewed other Trek videos and experiences, we've noticed that some are in the sunshine and some have actually had snow, depending on their location. Were they in the mountains? Were they in the hills? Were they in the valleys? Right. Wherever they were located near their homes, that's kind of the weather they got.

Well, we chose well, our church group.

And our stake chose to have our Trek experience about three and a half hours away from home. And that meant we were in the TriCities of Washington in the heat, like, 100 degree days. And so we have this manufactured experience with these somewhat extreme variables. And we are pushing a hand cart. Now, I say we really maz and Paws have been asked not to do the pushing of the cart, to let the kids do that. Maz and Paws are more there for moral, emotional, and spiritual and physical support to make sure and watch over these.

Kids, to make sure that they're having.

An experience and that they're physically okay and mentally okay, emotionally okay.

So we are out Trekking and wearing pioneer clothes and other discomforts, right?

And this is something that my husband and I have done before. We went four years ago. And so I had an idea of what the route was and where there would be more sandy areas, more rocky areas, steeper areas, more difficult days, and just experiences. I kind of had a general idea.

Of what to expect now when my husband and I were asked to take on this assignment, it's something that we.

Did not volunteer for. And in our church system, we are asked to take on assignments. We call them callings and where our.

Leaders have prayed and sought inspiration about.

Okay, these are the assignments. These are the places and the roles and the responsibilities that we need. And now here are the people in our congregation. Let's seek personal revelation and see who.

We can ask to fill these roles.

And these assignments and call them to these assignments.

So did it four years ago.

I said at that time, kind of like childbirth, I would never do it again. It was great experience, but not something that I physically wanted to do again. And so when it comes time for.

Trek this year, you get a text message from someone who is in a.

Leadership position and, hey, I want to speak to you and your husband. Can we meet at this time, this day? And so I'm like, Crap, I know what this person's responsibilities are. I can just imagine that this probably has to deal with Trek. And I am someone who, when asked.

To do assignments and given callings, that.

Yes, I seek personal revelation. Is this the right calling for me? Should I say yes? But I'm also kind of someone who's all in, who's like, yeah, they've done their work.

I'm just going to go for it.

It's very rare that and I don't think I ever have said no to a calling. I know that I've had difficult callings, but I've never really said no to one that I can remember. Maybe someone out there knows differently. I don't know.

So when we had this question put.

Before us of, will you guys serve in this position? Will you accept this assignment? I was super hesitant. I know what this calling entails. I know the physical.

Stress and requirements.

And I just didn't feel like my body was ready for that. But I'm also like you know what?

There's a lot that my husband and.

I can bring to the table. There are pieces of this that I do enjoy, and I think it's something that we can work through. And if I'm concerned about my physical abilities, then, well, great. This is an opportunity for me to address that, to really hone in on what my body needs and prepare for it. It's an opportunity to do some things that I've been wanting to do physically and treating my body better and taking care of it in that way.

So we did say yes.

I also was not super shy about sharing my hesitations. I didn't want to come off as.

Just, yes, we're going to go and.

Do this, and it's going to be amazing and wonderful. That just really wasn't how I was feeling. And I was okay with showing that.

I've been asked to do this assignment.

I'm hesitant, but I fully believe that I can either grow into this assignment.

I had a couple of options, right? I can grow into it.

I can grow through that process of coming to understand why I was even asked in the first place, or I could sit back and be angry and frustrated and just a Debbie Downer the whole time. But I didn't really like that route. I'm all for growing and becoming a new version of myself.

So said, yes, did share my hesitations.

And then we have meetings for the Maz and the Paws Prior. In the months prior to Track, we have meetings and we go and we learn and learn more about the course and all the work that's going on behind the scenes to really facilitate this.

Event and make it so that it.

Is a positive experience for everyone involved. And there's a lot of people involved in this. There's cooks, there's logistics. There's the head couple who is putting this all together. There's nurses, there's transportation, and I'm totally forgetting the people, but there's entertainment. Even I forgot about that. Food, entertainment. Different presidencies working on who the actual families will be, who the MAS and Paws should be, who the children in each group should be based on, who signed up for the event, and just the different spiritual messages that are shared, different technology pieces.

So there's just all of these pieces.

Of the puzzle have to come together. And so there are meetings to organize all of that.

And I saw myself going to these meetings. And as check is getting closer and.

Closer, I'm realizing, hey, I got to do something mentally here because great, I can share my frustrations. I can try to do that in a constructive way, not a pulse all down kind of way. But really, I'm going to sink myself if I don't do the mental work behind this and get myself to a place of acceptance and really responsibility for my mental game in all of this. So I reached out to my coach.

And I asked her to help me with this.

There is one experience in Trek that is very physically demanding.

And last time we did it that it was extremely difficult and it really was enough to put me off and.

I just didn't want to do it. I wanted to find every way to go around it to do Trek, but not do that experience.

And what it is, is towards one.

Of the last days of Trek, there's an experience that they facilitate called the woman's pool, the women's pool. And this is where the young men.

And the leaders and the men, we.

All arrive, all of us with our hand carts and families. And we arrive at this point, and.

The men and the young men are.

Sent up the hill and the women are left with the hand carts and the supplies, everything that's in their hand carts, right? The men have been called to go.

Quote unquote, to battle.

Right? This is something that we're staging. They're going to battle. Which leaves the women and the children behind to really fend for themselves and get themselves to the end goal. Now.

It'S difficult.

And the last time that we did this, four years ago, we got all the group to the base of the women's, poll it's up a steep, steep hill. And we were really trying to comfort.

The young women who were feeling a little edgy.

Some of them were fine, like, bring it on. We got this. Their confidence level was running high. But you had along that whole spectrum people who were really confident and individuals who were just not confident whatsoever. There was fear, there was anxiety, and there was some panic setting in for the unknown and the big question marks. And so I just remember standing there with some of these young women telling them, it's going to be okay. This is going to work out. We are stronger than we realize. Trying to pump them up and honor. I understand that you're scared, you're anxious, you're afraid.

I get it.

And having to work through that with them and then also at the same time working through it for myself and telling myself, it's going to be okay, Lacey, you can do this. You're stronger than you realize.

Right?

And so I remember finally getting to the point where it's our turn to go up the hill, and I'm like, okay, we're doing this. I'm helping. I'm pushing. I'm in this. I'm a leader. I got to help these girls. And I remember about like 50ft into the experience, just finally letting go of that cart and being like, holy Molies, I just have to catch my breath. I physically couldn't breathe. It turned into it's not about getting that cart up the hill. It's about getting myself up the hill. And that was really frustrating for me. I would say probably some shame started playing through my head of like, why can't you do this? Look, you're not in very good shape. And suddenly seeing all the things that.

My body was not doing when my body has in the real world done.

Some pretty amazing things. And so that was a really difficult moment.

It carried through.

I've carried it with me for four years. And that was one of the big stressors for going on trek this time. And this is why I reached out to my coach and I said, I can't do this. I can't get to the women's pool and wear myself out mentally before even getting there. And then if I'm going to get myself up the hill, I need to be as light as possible physically, but also mentally and emotionally.

Because if you've listened to the episode.

That talks about the 200 pound tractor tire, like, I had a massive 200 pound tractor tire on my back about this.

And so worked with my coach and.

Shared all my thoughts.

And she is amazing and wonderful, and.

She just pointed out that.

Really, this.

Is one of my takeaways was really.

Getting myself up that hill was just.

As good as pushing a cart up the hill.

And that even just walking beside these young women and cheering them on rather.

Than physically pushing that cart up the.

Hill was good enough. And it was amazing.

Not just good enough, but it was amazing. And so really questioning why I felt.

That I had to be in there.

And I had to push and I.

Had to be the one really to do the work.

And so I'm totally summarizing it. And there were some bigger pieces of.

This session, but it really helped me.

To see things in a new light.

And yeah, it's frustrating even when I.

Talk about it now, I'm like, man, I sound like I'm not a team player. I sound like I'm more concerned about myself. And I remember in the session, well.

As we worked through it, realizing, hey.

I did get myself up that hill, and the young women didn't have to put me in the cart and carry me up the hill. And so that was a great service that I was able to provide by walking my booty up that hill.

And so I had all these thoughts.

Kind of playing through, and I'd worked through it. I'd gotten to a much better place prior to Trek. And so I was like, all right, let's bring it on. Let's do it. And I shared. I was more open with the young.

Women in our family as we prepared.

For the women's poll and sharing some of my concerns and my encouragement, I just felt like I was more honest and open with them. I don't know if they felt that or not. That's how I tried to approach it. I was like, yeah, this is something that I'm nervous about. Here's my experience last time. Here are my thoughts. This time I was open and said, listen, I don't know that I can physically push that cart with you. My main goal is to get myself up that hill so you don't have to carry me up that hill. That's how I'm helping you this year.

So we finally get to that day.

Where it's the women's poll. And in her group, we had a couple of individuals that I was watching with my mom eyes just to make sure that they were physically okay with Trek. It is a demanding experience. I've said that multiple times. But I just want to emphasize this is a very physically demanding experience, and everybody's body is going to react differently to that. And there were certain individuals that I had my eye on the whole time making sure that we were not pushing them too far beyond extreme right, this.

Isn'T going to work if they get hurt.

We get to the day of the women's poll and there's a couple of.

Events prior to actually starting the women's poll.

Like, we've got to get up, we've got to have breakfast, we got to have a devotional, we got to walk down a big hill to the base of the women's poll. And from that point we also have.

Another kind of little mini devotional to.

Remind the young women of how strong.

They are and just that little experience there.

So that morning I noticed with my mom eyes that there's an individual in our group who was having a rough morning. And I had kind of kept my eyes on her the entire time. I wanted to make sure that this.

Experience was that she was okay within.

This experience, physically, mentally, emotionally. I was just watching her. And as I saw a need, I would point it out or help get the resources that she needed. And so she was having a little.

Bit of a struggle that morning and wasn't feeling well.

Thought she was going to throw up kind of to that level, right? And so.

We start trekking kind of.

Down this hill and there's a level of anticipation and the unknown and little anxiety settling in amongst the group. And some girls are cheering on saying, hey, we got this, and all different responses to it. Well, I'm watching my friend and she's not doing well. As we approach the base of the.

Hill and as we take a moment.

To kind of prep the girls and.

Send the boys up on their way.

And then have our little devotional at the base of the hill, she's kind of struggling. I mean, it's hot. It was so hot. We're trying to get her cooled off and we're trying to make sure that she hasn't overexerted herself.

I'm just watching her. And so I said, hey, I'm your buddy.

We're going to do this together. We're going to get up that hill. It makes me emotional just thinking about it because.

Of the thoughts that I had had and the work that I had done mentally and emotionally to prep myself for this experience and make it.

I mean, I wasn't even going for positive. I was just going for not terrible. So kind of neutral is what I was aiming for. But as we start going up the hill and you kind of have that rush of adrenaline, like, okay, we're doing it. I don't know how this is going to turn out, but we're doing it. We got to dig in and we're pushing. And I told my girls, hey, again, I probably won't be much of a physical help, muscle help. But there were times as they were going up the hill that.

I was able to lend a hand and even.

Just to push a little piece of that will for them as they would get stuck.

There were these kind of steeper hills.

Within the hill and there were like little sand traps. You'd kind of have to lift the.

Tire, the big wheel, not a tire.

But a big wheel, kind of give them a little bit of a boost over these sand hills. I don't know if I'm describing this very well, but there were times where just that little bit of oomph was so helpful for the girls in the front and the girls in the back. And after the experience we talked about, and they're like, yeah, we felt you. We felt you push on that wheel. And that's what we needed. So we're pushing along, and I guess.

I'm walking along and we get to.

A point where my friend that I've.

Been watching, she's struggling, and she just has to bow out.

And I grab her and I pull her off to the side, and I just check on her, like, what do you need? How are you doing?

And she just breaks down.

And she.

Is so frustrated with her physical body.

And she's so worried.

That she's not contributing like everyone else. And I just have this moment where I say, this is why.

This is why I had that previous experience. This is why I went through all of my coaching, all of my own mental game to get to this point so that I could pull that girl to the side and wrap her in.

The biggest bear hug and just hold her and tell her that she is amazing, that she's here, that she has.

Done some amazingly difficult things.

And that no one thinks less of her for what she is contributing and that she's.

Contributing more than she realizes. It was everything my coach had told.

Me that I saw when she shared.

That perspective with me. I was then able to go forward and give it to this girl.

And as we continued to walk up that hill while the other girls pushed, we talked.

Maybe not quite as much because we were struggling for air.

But eventually she got back in and.

She started pushing again. She dug deep and she found her strength. And.

This moment, this experience, it just.

Is sitting with me. And I just think about the work that we're doing as mothers. We have all these variables on our.

Plate, and we question whether or not.

We'Re physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually able to achieve what we need to achieve. And our thoughts about all of it.

Can either sink us or they can get us up that hill. But I think about the work that.

I personally had to do to get to a place where I was not sinking myself and adding more weight, emotional weight to myself as I was hiking up that hill. I had to put in work. I had to come to a point.

Where I was like, listen, this is on me.

Everyone else can be in charge of all the logistics, the travel, the food, the fun, the games, the spiritual moments, the arrangements. But I have a responsibility within this situation.

To do my personal work.

And because I did that, because I got to a place of awareness and acceptance and understanding and I would say gave myself a lot of grace, I.

Was able to do more on that.

Hill than I expected. Was it as much as some of the other women and girls provided?

No, it wasn't. And I don't even care if it.

Was more than someone else, right? I helped, I did what I could. But on that hill that day, my.

Assistance was not just physical.

I don't think that was the point for me on the hill that day. I think my point or my responsibility.

Was to help that young woman understand who she is and to help her.

With her mental game and her emotional game. Because I had walked through it first, I was better able to help her walk through it. And she only needed a short break.

And she got right back in and.

She completed the task. So she got in and helped the community. And I think with all of this.

Coaching that I do, my philosophy has been that when mothers and women put in the work on their mental and.

Emotional health, they're better able to show up for the needs of their children.

And the children in their community.

And when that happens, when mothers and women show up from a clean, healthy.

Place mentally and emotionally for their kids, their kids are given tools that they.

Can use so that they can go.

Out into the community and provide and.

Help and strengthen the community. But it starts with the work that the mothers and the women do. Yes, the men and the husbands and the fathers and all of them too. But this is my focus, is the.

Mothers and the women. So if there's something that you are struggling with, can I please encourage you.

To get the help that you need to reach out, to find someone to offer that different perspective, to show you the other side of the coin? Awareness is huge and it will help you as you go up these massive hills in your life, these trials that you're experiencing. That's the purpose of coaching. That's the beauty, the strength of coaching. And so I know I say it.

All the time, but if you need.

Help or something's just kind of weighing.

On your mind, please reach out.

Please don't continue to carry that tractor tire up the hill. Your influence is needed. There are children around you, whether they're your own or they're just in your.

Sphere, they need you.

They need you to understand, to grow.

To learn, to experience new things so.

That you can help guide them because they are experiencing new challenges as well.

So if you need help, please reach out. You can go to the website.

There's two ways to get to this. You can just go to raisingconfidentmothers.com and then you'll see Podcast Magazine. I think programs and free session. Click on any resource that you need there or you can go to Laceyjonescoaching.com, they both kind of route to the same places and we'll be making some additions. There's some fun things coming up this fall once the kids get back to school and a little bit more out of my hair. Right, I'll be diving into some fun resources for you all, but please, if.

You need help, reach out, we'd love.

To work with you. We have a free session. There's also a four week program and a six week program and you can see all that information on the website.

But coaching is life changing and so.

I challenge you to dig in and thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week.