Ep. 74 Thais Fernandes, Creator of Rio Forest Skin Care

I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the individual Episode 74, Thais Fernandes, creator of Rio Forest Skincare.

All right? I am so excited for today's guest, and what's awesome is that you get to meet her at the same same time that I get to meet her. One of the fun things about doing this podcast and the magazine is that I have been introduced to different people through networks of friends, and it's just fun to see how that network grows. And so today's guest, we're going to meet for the first time together. And so, Thais, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself? And number one, welcome to the show. But number two, go ahead and introduce yourself and your family, and let's just kind of dive in. Awesome.

I'm from Brazil, born and raised. First time here that we lived here was when I went to BYU. So I graduated from Brigham University quite a while ago now. I was already married when we came here, and it was super fun. Then we went back to Brazil. We have five kids. All of my family is super into soccer and especially the World Cup. It's like a thing. So my dad has been going to the World cup, every World cup, which happens every four year in a different country since 1998. And I've been able to go with our family and him, like, four times now. So that's something about our feeling that we're very into the World cup and traveling around the world to see Brazil play.

Oh, I love it.

And it's been fun. The thing is, the only World cup my dad did not attend was 2002, and we actually won that one.

I was like, wait, did we lose? Because your dad wasn't there, but they actually won that one.

But he wasn't there. It's the only one he hasn't been since 1998. So I won't release his name so people won't go after him. No, I'm kidding.

That's awesome.

No, it's just super fun to go and watch and see everybody together there just to be part of a bigger sport.

Okay, so Brazil. My family has tons of connections to Brazil. I have the five older brothers. They've served missions, and several nieces, nephews have served in the Brazil area. And so what part of Brazil?

Sao Paulo area.

Sao Paulo. Okay, cool.

Yeah, I know.

It's a big country, right? And my brother and his family have also lived there in Sao Paulo. So I am like, hey, awesome connection there. And then you have five kids. What's oldest? Youngest age range?

So oldest is 15, and the youngest is two. Three boys and two girls.

Awesome. So you get the comment, right? You understand busy, I'm sure.

All right, awesome.

Okay, so that's kind of just like the personal side of it, but you have a business world and a business side to. So can we dive into that and how that started and how it came up for you and when did you start it?

Yeah, just recently. It's been like a month that I've launched this skincare line here in the United States. And it's made from ingredients, and everything is made in Brazil, and it's natural. And a lot of the ingredients are planted in our farm in Brazil, then taken to the lab and know processed to become plant based, natural vegan skin care. And the thing is, when you use plant based ingredients for your skin, the skin recognizes those ingredients, so the results come faster. So it's really nice. I'm super excited to be working with this. I never thought I would because I used to have terrible skin. It was like never a reference for anyone until I started learning what to use and whatnot. And I've been working for a few years now to bring this, and it's been a month since the website is on, and I've been selling and sharing it online, and it's been a good experience, but it came about. I think that's the other question. Two years ago, I was not thinking about doing this. I had my youngest baby, and he was like, not a newborn, but he was like just a baby. And I was going to school again here in the United States, and everything was so chaotic in my. Like I was barely passing my classes. The house with the five kids was completely chaos. Like a complete chaos. Everything I didn't feel I was measuring up to a community service I was supposed to be doing. I was feeling like the worst person in the world. Looking back, I think I had what they call, like a dysfunctional, functional depression.

Okay.

When you go through your life, you do everything you have to do, but you're not inside. You're not feeling well, but you complete all your tasks, you go about your daily things, but you're not feeling well. And I remember going to bed almost daily, crying and saying, I'm the worst human being. I laugh because I get nervous, not because I think that's funny, but it was hard. And I think Heavenly Father got tired of listening to me complain about how I was a terrible human being. I had no talent. I felt I was like a failure in everything. And he blessed me with a friend who was doing a coaching training she was going through the training to become a coach, a life coach, okay. And she needed people to be her guinea pigs, I guess. And she contacted me and we went through the process of looking for my strengths and my talents, and I was like, oh, my goodness, I've been focusing on all the wrong areas. And then I realized every decision I've made was kind of wrong for the kind of talents I had, for the things I was like, no, I will never succeed in this area because I don't have none of the talents. Naturally, those that you were born with, they're your natural strengths. You're so good at it that you don't even know you have them, right?

Yeah.

So she helped me point me back to the direction, and I knew right then and there that I needed to become an entrepreneur and do something that would put me back into the place where I was using my biggest skills, not always feeling, like struggling and doing my best and always failing, because meanwhile, all of the skincare products I have brought with me from Brazil were my stash. I was almost gone. I was like, well, I can't buy them here. Might as well do something about it. And that's when we brought Rio forest to the United States, started thinking about know and developing everything.

Okay, there are some gold nuggets of awesomeness in your story. And so what you mentioned is that as you were having these struggles, heavenly Father blessed you within that and provided what you needed through that friend who had the resources, right. Who had the knowledge and could share that with you. So you mentioned your focus and how really the change was that you shifted your focus and instead of looking at what was wrong and what wasn't working, you kind of refocused on, well, what are my talents, what can I contribute and where is my strength? Because I first love that. Because we have the option, right. And the focus, where we place that focus will determine a lot of things. It can deeply impact our emotional well being, which then drives our actions. Right. So once you shifted from what was not working to what does work for me and what is unique to.

Correct. Yeah.

Right. Because maybe Sally or Susie over here, maybe she's got all these talents over here, and that's great. But if we constantly compare ourselves to her and what she has been gifted with and what her lights are, that's so different than what ours is. And if we focus on that, that's going to, like you said, just kind of drag you down and be like.

And that's exactly what I was doing. I was comparing myself like that person is a great mom. I had to be just like her, was trying to be another person. And I thought it was like, because I'm following a great leader, I'm a great mom. She's doing all these things, and I had these role models. They're like, if I just work hard enough, I'll be like them and I'll succeed. And of course, I was falling short, and then I had to be awakened to, hey, you don't have to be like anyone else. There's a reason you're you.

Yes.

And just find that person, find your talents. Go do the work to find what these talents are and who you are in your voice.

So with that, as you shift that focus to what your light is, what are some talents that you felt like you discovered along the way that you maybe didn't realize you had? But then as you develop them, you're like, oh, my gosh, this is obvious. I get it. So what are some talents that you kind of discovered along the way?

Oh, that's a really good question. So one test that I took during the coaching process was the Gallup strength finder test.

Okay.

And they mapped those out, and one of those were just solving problems. My brain was hooked on solving problems. Another time, I was a stay at home mom, and I was like, well, not that you don't have problems to solve, but usually it's like, will I do laundry on Tuesday or Thursday? Will I do chicken or meat for dinner? Those were not the problems that got my brain excited. So I was just, like, constantly bored. And then, of course I was bored. And then I started avoiding my responsibility until it became a big problem that my brain could solve.

Yes.

And there's also the creative part. So I was like, no, I have to be. My dad has been an entrepreneur his entire life, and that was part of my identity that I was denying, not putting myself out there. I thought it was, oh, I have to be a mom. I have to be a stay at home mom. That's what I have to do. But by not becoming what I had this, like, a DNA for entrepreneurship. I loved being in the action and everything. By not being. Acknowledging I had that and actually going after it, I was just hindering my own progress, and I was not putting myself in that place. I was happy. My kids, how can they be happy? Their mom is not happy. Right. So just by allowing, reconstructing what I thought, what I had to be, and, hey, no, there's no. What you have to. There's no such thing. And there's following what you were meant to be. If you dig deep enough, you'll find that out.

Yes. Okay. I'm, like, antsy over here because I'm like, yes, you're saying all the right things. This is the power of coaching. But let me dive into something that I love. Love. So you mentioned the opportunity to solve problems and the opportunity to solve problems beyond what was for dinner, right?

Correct.

Sometimes that feels like the world's biggest chore, right. And Sometimes that's all we're in a space to handle, is if I can just figure out what's for dinner. That's where I'm mentally at right now. Totally understand that. Been there before, especially as we're having babies, right. And we're trying to manage and regroup after all of that. But there does come a point where I believe we live in a time where we are meant to solve problems. Right. We are meant to think critically, especially as women and mothers. This is something I learned from my coach. I've mentioned it on previous episodes of the podcast, but I was working with my coach, and we came to this thought that really made sense to me was, these are problems I want to solve. And it was in reference to work, to building this business. And when I took that shift and realized, hey, no, I'm looking at these struggles completely wrong. Like, I want these struggles. I want to understand them. I want to figure it out. And actually, the solution to that, to those problems is going to be easier than I realize. But one piece of the puzzle that I've been putting together is the reason I want to solve those problems. And the reason those problems are there for me as a woman of faith is because I need to seek higher answers. I need to seek guidance from my heavenly father. And in doing that, it develops my faith and it develops my understanding, it develops my divine identity as I see it, and it really brings me closer to our heavenly father and develop that faith in this area. So then I can turn around, like you said, and help my family. Right, like you have a mom who's seeking and developing, really, this relationship with heavenly Father. It's going to affect every area of her life. And so I'm like, oh, my word. The fact that you mentioned solving problems. Yes. Because when you first started talking about your new skincare line, you mentioned, well, we have this farm in Brazil where we grow it, and then we have to bring the product here. I'm like, oh, wait a minute. Those are big logistical questions to solve. So how did you solve those questions? That's not just your let's decide what's for dinner. Like, let's decide where to grow this, let's decide how to formulate it. Let's decide how to get it here and sell it. So how did that process start?

We have amazing people. Everything you do, we take people, right? It takes people to get it. So if you have the right people. So we have an amazing team in Brazil who is partnering up with us right now, and they've been doing this for years. They know a lot more about natural products, planting, harvesting and everything, than I could ever learn by myself. But that's the thing, it's not easy. You really have to get out on your knees. You really have to ask for direction, and that's all you get to do. So I know which way to go. I need the next step. And I hadn't realized that this is one of the things that had strengthened my relationship the most with my heavenly father. But he has.

Yes. And with, like, you have this amazing team in Brazil, and you said you have to kind of be surrounded by the right people. Well, that doesn't just happen either. Right? Heavenly Father can guide. And what I've seen know sometimes those people are placed in my life even before I realize the connection or the purpose, why I needed them. And as I've interviewed other women entrepreneurs who are faith based, they've noticed that, too, that heavenly father will provide. Like, they are doing the work, don't get me wrong, they are doing the work. They are seeking the answers. But Heavenly Father provides that network of people in our corner when we need them. And sometimes it happens before we even realize what's happening. And so I love that it's the right people that's all divinely orchestrated. And then a second piece that you talked about earlier was your creativity.

Right.

You have this innate creative desire within you, and it's so cool to see how that's being used. So with all of this, what piece of this puzzle of creating all this business stuff do you think is the most enjoyable? And you find you're using your creativity the most? Like, what area of this?

Well, just this week we were creating pictures and videos for online, just all the social media websites and all I remember being. So we were doing a picture, it was a video. Sorry, my kids got here. Do you hear them?

I heard them a little bit, but it's fine. Like, whatever you need to do.

I asked them to go upstairs. That's the instruction they have. Hopefully they will be going upstairs.

And I always have to point out, this is what happens when two moms who are business get together because we're working from home, but we're also balancing motherhood at the same time. So I'm like, we'd never apologize for this.

Okay, so going back to creativity. So this week we had the opportunity to do pictures, videos, to put on know, Facebook, Instagram, and one of those, we decided to do a creative take on our facial cream. So we dipped it in a just, and I was, like, covered in yogurt. And I was so happy. It was like the weirdest feeling. It was, like, all dirty and doing all these crazy stuff to get the perfect shot. But I was like, oh, this makes me so happy. Right?

And who would have thought that you would be in a photo shoot covered in yogurt and it would be so fun, satisfying. Yes. That's the cool part. I don't know if cool is the right word, but the part of being that entrepreneur and having to use your unique creativity to present your products, present your business, to build and grow and develop that. So how have you seen gratitude play into all of this?

I had the most beautiful experience just this week. I sat down to eat. I was by myself, so I decided to stay and prayer. And it was at the beginning of the week, and my mind was swirling. I had everything I had to do for the kids and everything I had to do for the house and lots of things I had to decide and get prepared for the business. And I was really sit down to eat, and I close my eyes and I start doing this silent prayer. And my five year old walks in and sees me not saying anything because I'm doing A silent prayer. So he decides to pray just by seeing me. And he starts, thank you for mom, and thank you for dad, and thank you for the other brother and the other sister, and started naming all these. Of course, I stopped saying my friend, started listening to his words. And just by having him be grateful for those little things, my heart just came down. And yes, everything is chaotic, but you still have this. You have this family, you have these people. And it was perfect. Immediately I came down, my cortisol level were up, and I was like, oh, okay, we have this. So gratitude is so powerful. It changed my entire mood. And it wasn't me, it was him. Of course. I guess the Lord sent him perfect timing to be the one to remind me to be grateful, even when everything.

Seems chaotic, right, when it's all like a jumbled mess. And I know that feeling you're describing, but I also know that piece that as it settles in and we were like, okay, I am capable of handling this. Heavenly Father will help me handle this. That's amazing. And it's interesting to see how he used your son to offer that. That's pretty cool. Okay. So sometimes, as these little tumultuous moments come up, they're a result of some of the fears that we might have or thoughts about ourselves in the situation or our inadequacy or just questions. How do you handle the questions and fears and doubts as you move forward with this?

I love that you said move forward with, because in Portuguese, I'm not sure if they have the same sentence in English, but if you're afraid, just do it. Afraid. Even with the feeling of afraid. And I think for the past couple of months and right before the launch and everything, that was one of the sentences that I kept. I was terrified. And I'm like, no, I'm afraid, but I'll do it. Even with the feeling of fear. So you said, move forward. I think you have to have the leap of faith to sometimes just keep going, even when you're terrified. But of course, you know you're moving into a good direction. I knew I had to do this. I knew it would be good. I had felt good about it at different times. But of course, there's always that feeling that you're like, what if everything goes wrong? What if this is a complete failure? What if nobody likes this? But move forward with fear has been one of the sentences that's been in my mind now. I'll just keep going with fear.

Just keep going, because eventually, that's some very humanness coming out. And eventually, I think, as you become more comfortable through all of your experiences, that that will shift from move forward through fear or even with fear, to move forward in faith and move forward in knowing you will know that you're meant to move forward, which I think you do know that you're meant to move forward. But sometimes, man, when we have to take that leap of faith and we're hopping into the deep dark and we have no idea what's ahead and we don't know the answers, yeah, there is some very human, natural fear that can come up with it, but I love that you're like, yeah, and we're going to move forward, and we're going to keep doing this. So how do you balance all of this? Because this is a pretty big world. How do you balance all of this? And you are still a mother of five and a wife and all the other responsibilities. So what does balance look like to you?

I love this question because I think balance is an illusion. In my world, there is no such thing as balance. And you go online and you see this one person being an entrepreneur and this other woman being making homemade meals every day, and the other one is organizing her house. You could do any of those things. You cannot do all of them, but you go and you think, oh, I can do this, I can do that. And it kind of messes with your mind that making you believe that you do all of those. The thing is, you can't. In business, you learn, if you say yes for something, you're saying no for something else, right? The money doesn't go both ways. So if you're spending somewhere, that means you're saying no to other expenses. And that's the same thing with time. But the trick is to have a really good yes. Like, if I'm saying yes to something, it's making me grow, it's making me happy, it's making me move forward. It's bringing out this feeling of worth. Then when I get home and I see that the laundry is not done and nearly close to be done, it's not like I'm going to be bad. I feel bad. I'm going to be okay. It's okay because I had an amazing day. So because I had that big yes, I said yes to something really good, that it felt really good, that I knew it was in the right direction. Then I think you're okay with the other no. You said if something didn't go well, that other project didn't get done, you're okay with it. So that's the balance, being okay with the no, because the things you said no to because of the big yes are really there. And also learning to ask for help. So had my mom come and help me with laundry, and I was like, oh, I should do this more often. Or the other day, I was completely exhausted, and I was like, I didn't want to ask my kids to do anything because I didn't have the energy. If you're asking your kids, you need energy to get them kedger, you'll do this. And I was like, mom is exhausted. Just go do this in the kitchen. And they did. And I was like, oh, I should do this more often. Asking for help. I think that's another big one. We have to be humble and understand we can't do everything and then ask for help 100%.

Right. Like that humility comes into play. And it's so interesting that you share that experience, because I had that on. I think it was Sunday and it was dinner time and I had just crashed, right? Like Sunday was the day of rest for me that day. And I was like, okay, I need to get up, I need to go make dinner. I had already planned a very simple meal anyways, but I was like I need to do it. And then I had this moment like no, I can actually break that task into several different pieces and I can very politely ask, hey child a, can you do this? And it's fun to see them own that. They need to have that opportunity to work in the system and in the whole ecosystem of the family as well. And so I sat there and I was like, wow, why don't I do this more often? I know why I don't because sometimes I'm just moving and grooving. It's easier to get it done myself.

It's so much easier to get it done ourselves. But then they don't get growth, right?

And so when we look at all of this, the natural skincare products, they could all be provided for us, but they're not. And you, it sounds like have been felt the impression to bring this to the market for other people because guess what? This is a vehicle to facilitate your own growth and your family's growth and all the extra people that you're bringing into it. Like look at how you've brought your mom in and I'm sure that well I am assuming that that was a great experience for her to feel needed again. I don't know.

I hope so too.

I'm guessing we've touched on that a little bit. But how do you care for your own mental health? We can say all the glamorous things about this, but it's tough work. So how do you care for your own mental health within it?

I think everybody will have to find their own set of practices that will help. And I've learned through the years. Back in the day I've done therapy. The last time I was studying, I did study psychology. Okay, but the thing is they don't teach you how to take care of your mental health. They teach you all about, not as an undergrad anyway, but you will learn that if you go to a master's. But I was doing undergrad and learning about philosophy and the history and all the major players in the field. But the thing is you have to learn to know when you're for me, I've learned to notice when I'm off tune and then I have okay, I'm off tune. This is not me separate. We have to separate ourselves from. Sometimes I'm having this terrible day and I'm like, what's going on? And it has to do with not sleeping well, eating things that I shouldn't have done, that I had allergies to the day before because I was at a party and going off rail, and then the next day yoU're feeling terrible and you're like, you know what? This is not me. This is consequences of bad choices. But I can restore this.

Yes.

Sometimes it's just locking your room and taking a big nap and letting your body do the healing that it needs to be done. So you're back to your. So I think knowing what it feels like to have being a good place, good mental health energy and everything, and working back towards it, whether it be exercise or diet or going to therapy and doing what you have to do, too, but knowing you have to know what it feels like to be in a good place.

Well, and you mentioned the word restore. It's that restoration of self as we care for our mental health. And yes, we may make choices, we may have natural biology that affects that. But as we work and learn and grow to restore ourselves to that natural place where we do feel like we're clicking on all the cylinders, right, and we're functioning well. Let's go here. What do you think is the benefit of mothers who are creating something outside of motherhood?

I love that question because it goes right to my heart, because I had completely different conception of motherhood. When my first child was born, I saw him, this blank canvas, and my goal was to paint it as the most beautiful picture, to dedicate all my hours with the best paint and the best brushes, just to make it the most beautiful thing in the world and present it to the world one day. Right? And then it gets to when you realize first you don't get to paint their canvas. The only person who can stroke that is themselves. The second thing is they will model whatever you do. So how much effort are you spending on your own canvas? So I really had that. I control everything. I control your decisions. I do this and I control. And then you'll be a great human being because, look, all the effort I put into you. And the truth is, I had to put all that effort into me, overcoming all of my weaknesses, all of my traumas, all of going to therapy, looking at all the stuff that triggered myself and drove me crazy, if you want to use that word and understand why, and then start changing my behavior so they would have a good behavior to model. So I think me like my oldest is 15. The other one is twelve, and the other one is ten. They're seeing me become this entrepreneur and do all this stuff, and I think there's nothing more powerful for them. There's nothing else I could do right now that would give them that model, too. When they get to their point of fear, they'll remember my mom started out at home and she did this and that. I can do it because I saw her pay the price to take care of her mental health, find her voice, and live that. So it's a completely different way of parenting because I think that's the one thing I took from graduating from undergrad. In psychology, the most powerful way to teach is by modeling. And that's what Jesus Christ did. He never forced anyone into anything. He was the complete model for everyone and invited people to see and model him, come and see and model and motherhood. Right now, for me, doing it right for me, is becoming my best self, paying the price to become the disciple I want to be, overcoming my fears of failure, overcoming my personal challenges, and finding my voice and not comparing myself to others, but finding my own way and doing it in a way that it'll be a reference for them.

Yes. And I'm like, amen. Like a million times over. Because the whole point of elevating the individual is the ripple effect that it can create. So if you take a mom and you give her the resources and the support and help her do the work that she needs to develop her light and become the best version of herself, she presents herself differently to her family. She mothers differently. When she understands her true identity and who she is, and she has that confidence, she's a complete force for her family, then the family is stronger, and they go out to the community, and so it just continues to grow, and this ripple effect. And so what you're facilitating through this entrepreneurship is your personal growth, but you're also inviting others to grow as well. So you're inviting your mom in, you're inviting the people who work with the products, the people who are doing the photography. You're inviting these other people in through use of their talents to grow and develop individually as well. And so it's this big snowball effect, really.

It is.

So I'm like, yes, you get it. So it's amazing to watch. But what is one message that you want to leave for our listeners today?

Find your voice. Do the work to find your voice, your identity, what moves you? What makes you? What would you wake up at 05:00 a.m.. Heftily to do for if you had to wake up 05:00 a.m. To do something and you were like, I'm going to wake up so that you maybe wake up 430 because you're so excited, cannot wait for the end of the night. So do the work to find that and go after it. Put that as a priority and go after it. And life is too short. I think I became a mom. It feels like it was yesterday and my son is already in high school. I'm like, oh, my goodness, it's so short. Time goes by so fast. So do the work to be healthy mentally, your health and everything, and find your voice.

Yes.

I love find your spark.

Yes.

Right?

Okay. So with all this, where can our listeners find your website? Instagram? I can put it in the show notes, but just for those listening, what is your website? What is your Instagram? How can they find you online?

So we believe every woman has the right to feel comfortable in their own skin. So that's why we use plant based natural products ingredients for your skin. And it's real, as in Rio de Janero. So realforest.com.

Okay.

And our Instagram is real forest has a double TT at the end. So yeah, realforest.com. Real ingredients, real results, real life, real motherhood, everything together.

I love it. Okay, so we are going to put all of that in the show notes so people can check it out. And then I'm just excited to see how this grows. You said it's been a couple of years in the making, right?

At this point, yeah. But it's been a month since it's online and selling.

Oh, awesome. I'm so excited. Okay, so, Tase, thank you so much for being here. Like I said, this is our first meeting and it's so interesting to see how these conversations play out because so much of what you shared has echoed my thoughts and experiences that I've had. So I am grateful. I think that is divinely inspired, I'll say that. And so thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for the opportunity.