Ep. 40 The Prescription of Our Emotions

I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the Individual Episode 40 The Prescription of Our Emotions. I want to share a quick metaphor moment with you this week. I believe a lot of life lessons can be used for a greater impact when we apply them to the tricky, uncomfortable and more vulnerable interactions we share with others as we seek to understand and restore personal peace. If you know me or have seen a picture of me, you know I wear glasses. I have worn glasses since the third grade and during my teen years and early twenty s, I wore contacts.

But I eventually gave those up when my eyes just became too dry and my prescription became more and more challenging to correct. And I have experienced many eye appointments sitting in that big bulky chair while this heavy breathing eye doctor with coffee on his breath looks deep into my eyes, trying to decipher how to best alleviate the strain on my cones and rods.

I have worn the heavy mechanical glasses while looking through a series of lenses and trying so desperately to distinguish any sense of change in focus between option one or option two. And too many times I just answered that both options were the same when I couldn't decide which one was better. With each click of a new lens landing in place, the optometrist dialed in on the combination of lenses necessary to bring my eyesight as close to 2020 as possible. The world I see is made possible by modern technology and a thick set of glasses. When I'm not wearing my lenses, my eyes strain and I struggle to bring objects into focus, oftentimes relying on memory and previous experience to assume what it is that I'm actually looking at.

Now, I had an experience the other day that left me feeling frustrated and a tad bit feisty. I know that could be shocking. And it happened when someone responded in a way that I thought was just ridiculous. Upon hearing their response to something that I said, I quickly went into, well, let's find all the ways they are ridiculous mode. And I unleashed my sarcasm as I attempted to process their feedback. I knew I wasn't handling the situation in the most mature way, but I was also okay letting off a little steam in the privacy of my home away from the individual.

And with time I was able to temper my thoughts and started looking for explanations as to why this individual reacted in such a way. And that's when I remembered the heavy breathing eye doctor and his bulky mechanical eyeglasses. For years, I have worked to dial in on a personal prescription that reduces the amount of anxiety I feel in certain situations. Through personal and professional coaching, I have changed the lenses in which I view the circumstances of my life to no longer include layers upon layers of anxiety as I had done in the past. I have done the work to determine which thoughts bring me greater peace and greater confidence when faced with decisions and unknowns. I have worked through series of thoughts and perspectives, heavily contemplating option one or option two, and I have worked to know which thoughts bring my life into focus.

While the other individual and I shared a similar vision of the outcome we were working towards, I realized we were not wearing the same prescription of glasses in which to view the decisions leading to the end goal. Our different life experiences were affecting our perspective. Once I realized that I was not viewing the situation through a lens of anxiety, I could see how my ideas were muddying the view.

For the other individual whose prescription included lenses and layers of anxiety. I could see that when I expressed my ideas and they were then heard by the other person, the other person added meaning to my words based off their previous life experience, which has been layered with hesitation and fear, thus generating a feeling of anxiety within them. From that anxious state, they said and did things which proved their thought about my words and actions. They created what they focused on. Their result mirrored their thought process, and I don't blame them one bit because that is how the human brain works. Someone says or does something, we create a story about it in our minds. Our brain then goes to work generating an emotion that matches the story, and we take actions from that specific emotional state and our actions create an end result that directly reflects our thoughts. It's mechanical and it follows the laws of nature. So when I realized what was happening with this other individual, I could then approach the situation with compassion, because that's the emotion I wanted to feel.

But that meant that I needed to plug in a new thought rather than they're ridiculous, right? That was not working for me. That's not going to create compassion. And the deliberate thought that I chose was this this person is reacting as a result of their anxiety and their life perspective, which is different from mine. I felt compassionate and I was able to drop my defenses and soften my approach while offering explanations and compromise where necessary.

It is true that we are each responsible for our actions, which means we are ultimately responsible for the stories we create about other people. It is also true that we are each responsible for how we treat others when we better understand the lenses in which they view the world. Maybe we will choose to soften our approach and compromise, or maybe we will decide to draw clearer boundaries that limit our interactions with others.

For a time. When we choose either option from a place of love and respect, our world will be a better place. Thanks for joining me, friends. I'll see you next week. Many have asked how they can help me with this podcast and helping it to grow and I seriously appreciate that. The best thing you can do is share your favorite episode with a friend or on social media. You can link to the individual episodes through the various podcast apps, or you can copy and paste the website from the show notes. It's really just the podcast page on my website, Laceyjonescoaching.com. And then ratings and reviews also help the algorithm as it recommends the show to new listeners. And last but not least, if you know of someone who would be an awesome some guests on the show, you can fill out the podcast interview form on the website and I'll see what I can do. Thanks again for all your love and support. I truly appreciate each of you.