Ep. 41 You Are Divine with Tiffany Carbajal

I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the Individual Episode 41 You Are Divine with Tiffany Carbajal. I want to dive right into this week's interview with our special guests, so I won't go on for too long before we dive to that. But just please know that you are about to hear from one of my favorite people. Tiffany is a friend to everyone that she meets, and to know her is to just full on love her. So without much more than that, here's Tiffany carbahal. I had to laugh because when we were at the meeting a couple of weeks ago at the steak center that Sunday night, and I was talking to a friend, and she said, hey, I'm sorry, I don't know you. Who are you? And she said it to you. I was like, oh, my gosh, this is Tiffany. This is your new best friend. Let me just tell you, she might just say, my name is Tiffany, but she's your new best friend because that's kind of who you are. So why don't you introduce everyone's new best friend, Tiffany Carbajal.

And who you are my new best friend. So I'm Tiffany. And let's see. I am a good friend. One of my many talents is people. So I think that sticks out for me. That's why I love people. I am a mother of three. I am a wife of Tom, and we've been married for quite a few years. It's been really fun, adventure, and I love the sunshine.

Oh, my gosh.

Yes. That's a little bit about me today, because here in the pacific northwest, there is sun and I am in heaven. Yes.

And you have to recognize the sacrifice that you made to do this interview. I know we wanted to do it outside because it is sunny and we take advantage of those sunny days. And I appreciate you coming inside so that the sound is a little bit more crisp, but that is totally you. And one question I had for you is, as I was thinking about who you are, have you always had this gift of friendship and a gift of relating to people, or is that something that you've had to develop?

I actually really had to develop it. I was actually super shy up until probably my junior year in high school.

Okay.

My mom said that I never said a word, actually. She couldn't talk to me. Like, I wouldn't say anything. And then I got a job at a grocery store, and I had to take people's bags out to their car, and so I couldn't just not say anything. And so I started talking to people. And now my mom says that she can't get me to shut up too hard. Mom? Yeah. So I was very shy.

Okay. Why do you think you were shy? Was it a fear of the unknown, fear of people or just okay. And comfortable in your own skin?

Probably a little bit of both. I'm in the middle child of two brothers, two very busy brothers. And I kind of just maybe the peacemaker, maybe just kind of going with the flow like others had other things to say instead of what I had to say.

I like it just kind of a quiet sit back and just comfortable being there. But you have had to put yourself out there. I think you've had, I don't know, I've known you for how many years now and I've seen you, and that's just who you are. Like you put yourself out there, you will go up to someone and introduce yourself and ask them how they are and really try to make that other person feel comfortable in who they are. And so part of that is your role or one of your assignments in the release society. And so can you tell us about that, your role in the release society and actually what the release society is?

Yeah, I'm kind of a leader. There's a stake and then there's the ward. And so we're an amazing group of women. And we actually looked this up before. There is I wrote it down, okay. There is 7 million women in the release society, and it's actually in 188 different countries. And so I belong to this society of women that strengthen each other, that lifts each other up, that mourns. When someone needs to mourn, that helps you come on to Christ, who is that shoulder to lean on. And I'm part of that. And so a leader in our city.

Yeah. And I was going to say so for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, the organization is similar a little bit to like a school district where you have a school district. So that would be like equivalent to a stake for our church. And then when you break that school district down into different boundaries for schools, that's kind of what award is like award would be equivalent to a school. And so you're in the leadership for the Relief Society, but it's the stake leadership. So you're responsible for all of the women within the boundaries of the stake, which is comprised of like seven maybe wards, and then each ward probably 200 ish it'll range. Right? But it's a large group of women. It's not just this group of women, seven of them that get together on Thursday nights and play bingo. Right. It's a large organization and you're part of the stake. And then the stake is part of a worldwide organization. And at one point you gave a talk for one of our conferences and it really hit me, you shared it with me. And I wanted to share kind of the meat of it because I think it's a question that a lot of people have or some people firmly understand and have this knowledge of who they are, that they are a divine child of heavenly parents. But some people don't. Some people choose not to believe, and some people just in my mind, aren't aware that it could be a possibility. And so you shared this talk and this address with me, and I wanted to give you the opportunity to talk a little bit about it here because I thought it was a valuable message. And so what kind of led you to this message and this big question of who am I?

Well, we plan this kind of conference, like, about a year in advance, and we kind of, like, pray about what we should say, what we should do. And the theme for that was Women of God. I was given the opportunity to speak, and I had to choose my own subject, and I was like, what do I feel like women need to hear? And I think us as women forget sometimes who we are. Sometimes we maybe get lost in, Well, I'm a mom. Well, yeah, you are, but you're more than that. Well, I'm a sister. I have brothers or whatever. So then I really got thinking, like, well, what can I share? And how can I share that to others? And so to me and all my life, I felt like the biggest thing that I am is that I am a child of God, that I am a woman of God. And to me, that's my first, I guess, go to knowing that I'm a woman of God trickles down into the rest of my life, trickles down into being a woman, a mother, a worker, a community member. Anything that I do in my life, I feel like that is my biggest.

Of who I am, and that can be seen. And it's evident in how you relate to others, the fact that you seek out others and you're a friend to pretty much anyone that you meet. I think that's a testament of your knowledge that you are a daughter of God. And you're a woman of God, really. And so in your address, you talked about taking your DNA test and realizing, wait a minute, my heritage is a little bit different than I expected. So tell me about that moment and kind of where it led on this quest with understanding who you are.

Yeah, well, so I grew up we always thought we were a Mexican heritage, and we did made the tortillas, and we made the tamales, and it was very ingrained into our growing up. And so I'm a Mexican. That's who I am. And my brother decided and I was already an adult, and it wasn't very many years ago, and I was already adult, and my brother decided to take his DNA because this is a popular thing right now to do and figure out, well, what really are we? And he took it, and so we waited, and that was kind of cool. And then he was looking at me. He's like, Wait a minute. We don't even have any Mexican heritage descendants from us. And it was a little bit hard because I had grown up my whole life thinking that I was Mexican. We had this Mexican heritage in our culture, in our lives, and in my kids lives. And I felt like, well, who am I? Yeah, I was like, well, what am I now? And so just looking at who we were. But then I got thinking, Wait a minute, I'm still Mexican, because I've done all the I mean, that's just who I've grown up to be. But then I realized it's okay because I know who I am now. I think of it, maybe if I would have taken the if I would have known that maybe 20 years before that, I wouldn't have been as confident as I am now. But now, this part of my life, knowing that I know who I am, I know that being a Mexican is important, but also, I already knew who I am. I know that I'm a daughter of God. I know that I'm his child. And to me, I felt like, well, and everything else is just extra well.

And that's your physical DNA test. But you already took your spiritual DNA test all these many years, right? Like, you've been developing that knowledge and understanding spiritually and what your DNA is there. And so coming to that understanding for yourself has probably been this life journey and understanding and sharing with others. So you're a mom. How has it impacted your family, having a mom who knows that and who chooses to believe that?

Well, I think the biggest thing is because I know that I know where I can lean on as a mom. It's not easy ever, but I know that who I can lean on. I also know that when my own children wonder who they are or question who they are, I can be confident enough to tell them because I know who I am. The biggest thing that you need to do is to know who you are also.

Yeah. And to be able to answer that question, well, who are you? So I think it's been two weeks ago now the episode that I shared with my former Young women's president, Gail. She started off the conversation with an experience where she was a judge for the Junior Miss program. So she's interviewing high school girls. And the question is, tell me who you are. And she talked about two individual girls who immediately said, I am a daughter of God. I am a child of God. And so that being before anything else, can then create a foundation for everything else. I've coached many women. Some women are in the United States, and some women are outside of the United States. And there was one session that stuck out to me from a woman who lives in a European country who does not have the same foundation as I do, a Christian foundation of understanding that I'm a child and a daughter of God. And when it comes to questioning and understanding our worth, it was a very interesting conversation because I was measuring or knowing my worth, because I'm a daughter of God, right? Like, I know that. And so the actions that I take in life, my accomplishments, they aren't necessarily something that determines my value and my worth. And so I make choices a certain way. Well, my client was not raised with that foundation of Christianity and understanding that she's a child or daughter of God. And so her value and worth, she was tying that to her accomplishments and to her children and their accomplishments. And so it was very interesting to coach when that value is not the same and encouraging someone that, you know what, just the fact that you exist means that you have value. I don't care if you go out and run a marathon or if you sit on the couch and take a nap all day long. You still have value. And so it's an interesting concept to try to explain value when there's not that foundational level, and not everyone believes that's. Fine. It is something that I've chosen to believe, and I believe that's something that you've chosen to believe. So how do you coach your own kids if they ever question it? I don't know if they've questioned it, but have you had moments where you've had to coach even your family through that concept?

Well, I just remember one time I was sitting with my daughter, and she's an adult, and we're just sitting at the table, and I love those moments when you can just quietly sit with your one child when nothing else is going on. And I remember just sitting at the table, and it was just the two of us, which was unusual. And I remember her. I knew that she was struggling at the time, and I knew there was some things going on. And as we got talking, she's like, I don't know what I believe. I don't know if there is a God. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. And as a mom, I'm like, what? I've taught you this my whole life. But then all I wanted her to know was that it's okay. It's okay to question, it's okay to, like, wonder. But I I wanted her to know that she is a daughter of God. Because if you're growing up with a religion and you're just not understanding some of the things, if you don't maybe like how it's going or what. But I always told her that none of the other things matter right now. I said the biggest thing that matters is that you know that you're a daughter of God, that he's someone that's going to be there for you all the time. He's going to be there through the heart, through the easy, through the everyday things of life. And I said, and when you get to know him, when you know that about yourself, then everything else is going to kind of fit into place. I think it might still not be easy but for her to know that. But I feel like before I was able to even tell her that I needed to know that myself.

Yes. I'm like, oh, my gosh, amen.

Yes.

So go along with that train of thought. Yes. You have to know it first before you can encourage someone else.

Yeah. So I think that's even important even in life, anywhere, whether you're religious or not. I remember when I gave this talk, I had a sister come up to me and say, I'm not sure if I know that I'm a daughter of God. And I was like, that's okay. And I felt like, I'm going to talk to my daughter like I'm sitting at the table. But I asked her, well, what are you doing? Some of the sisters were like, I really like that. But I realized I am those things. And one that really stuck out to me is that one came up and said, you know what? I realized that I am capable. And I said, yes. And I said, and that's what we have to remember. And because she's saying that. So I think of with me, I know that I'm a child of God, so I know that I can help my daughter if she's struggling. I know that I can be in a leadership position and help those along the way. But as a woman, lean on what you know you are like this one sister said, I am capable. Well, she's capable because she's doing hard things. She's capable because she's going to school after 30 years and she's doing it. And so in herself, whether she believes in God or not, she's saying, I'm capable. I'm capable to do these things. I'm capable to go to school. I'm capable to get up in the morning and keep helping my kids. I'm capable to continue to know God and to know that I am a daughter of a woman of God.

And it's such an interesting thought process that produces a different emotion within us. For me, it's a sense of confidence, it's a sense of peace, it's a sense of hope. And so, so many times being a mom, being a woman is not always easy. Right? We get so many messages thrown at us from outside sources, and if we're not careful about the ones that we choose to hold on to, those messages have a huge impact on our emotions. And our emotions are what drive our actions and the things that we create or don't create. And so we have the ability to choose the messages that we take to heart and the messages that we believe for me and I'd gather for you, is I am choosing to believe that I am a daughter of heavenly parents who love me and I have divine worth. That to me is amazing. It creates a sense of peace, a sense of belonging, a sense of wow, love. Right? And so when times get difficult and challenging because I don't have all the answers, I know that someone loves me enough to help me create this life, to help me work through the challenges of raising my kids. And I know that I can receive that personal revelation of how am I supposed to help this child? How am I supposed to help me? How am I supposed to grow in this area? How am I supposed to get answers? Right? And knowing that I am a child of God and he loves me and wants to help me, that is a thought process that I cling to, that I have chosen to hold to because it is optional. You don't have to believe it. But when I do believe it, I then look for the evidence that proves that thought. And so something I want to explore, maybe through this conversation is, what would you say to someone who is just trying on that thought, who's just maybe starting to explore that thought that they're a child of God?

Yeah. Well, I remember when I was giving this talk, I did ask the question to ask yourself, I am what? How would you fill that in? And I remember thinking, there's going to be negative.

Yes.

And there's going to be like, well, there's this. I'm this. And so then I was like, stop. So I think that's where we start is I am what? And don't put negative in there and find those little moments or little things that you know you are. My biggest thing that if you're just starting out to know maybe who God is, I love to go outside. I love to be in nature. I am a walker. So if you're doing that just as you're walking, listen, feel, just notice that your body's moving. And then I think that's where you can start to feel God in your life. That's where I really feel God in my life is when in nature and I think just enjoying nature, understanding just how your body is moving, the birds singing, you can hear even kids laughing, just different things around. And I think that's a good start if you're a walker. I am a walker. And then as I'm walking, wow, what else am I like, oh, I can hear. And then oh, I am that is God.

So you were putting a label on yourself. I am a walker. One of the labels you and I love to stick on ourselves is, we are a daughter of heavenly parents. We are children or a child of God. That's a label. That's a sticker. We want to stick. But so many times in life, we can put other labels on, right? Like, I'm just so disorganized. I'm not a very good mom. Let's just tape that one on there, right? Because my kid's screaming and yelling and he's mad or he's making choices I don't agree with. Well, that must mean something about me, that I'm a terrible mom or whatever. So we have these labels that stick to us, but you also mentioned going outside and listening. And we live in a world that's loud. We have something to always entertain or distract or pull at our attention at all times. A device. Right. There's always a device that can pull at our attention. But if we do go outside and leave devices behind and we tune into nature, we can tune in to some of that knowledge and see more so who we are and start writing the new labels for ourselves. In your talk, you shared a quote from Jeffrey R. Holland. Would you mind reading that for us?

Yes. His name is Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, and it's from the October 2005 conference. And he said it actually to the young women, so that was interesting. But it applies to women also.

Yes.

He says, I want you to be proud. You are a woman. I want you to fill the reality of what that means to know who you truly are. You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny that surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make. As you grow into mature womanhood, there can never be a greater authentication of your dignity, your worth, your privileges, and your promise. Your Father in heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And he knows what you can become through faith in Him.

He not only knows your name, but he knows your circumstances. And he knows hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. He knows all of it. And so why not turn to him in times of need? I don't know. What are your thoughts on that quote?

I don't know. I think that's the big thing that stuck out to me is that he knows your name. I think the biggest thing is I'm really into names because I like people so much. I am very good about knowing names. I may not be the best, but I'm super good at knowing names. And I know that it's important. Like, if I reach out and say, hey, Lacey, and I know your name, I think it's super important. And so when I think of that, I think of our Heavenly Father. He knows Tiffany, he knows me, tiffany, I know you, and he's calling us by name. And I think that's super important for any relationship. It's not just a hey, neighbor, or it's, hey, Tiffany, I'm hearing you. I know it's been a hard day. I know that you're struggling with this child, but I know you and I know your name. I know your hopes, I know your dreams. I know what your child needs at this moment. And I don't know, I just think that he knows if we just have that faith in Him, he knows your.

Name and he knows your child's name, right? And so it becomes this, I think, a team effort as we all kind of come to work together, because raising children is not easy, and raising children in today's world where I think there's more negative influences that are readily acceptable or accessible, not right. Like there's more things right at our fingertips to derail the thought process of our kids or to cause them to forget who they are. And so as we come to strengthen our knowledge in our Heavenly Father and the fact that he does know us and he knows us by name, like you're saying, you can turn and share that with your daughter or with your Son to help them through their challenges. So I love that. Any last kind of message or words that you want to share with those who are listening? I don't know.

My last probably words I would leave is that I hope that you can find God in your life. I hope that however way it is for you, I hope that you can feel or see or know somebody that even maybe has that in their life to know that you're not alone, you're raising your children, like you said, with a team. You can go to Him with hardships and those different things and to know that he knows you, he's calling you, he's reaching out, and he's, I think, always think of, like, grace, like Yoke or even like Yoke. I just feel like he's holding on. He's being right there with you. If you struggle with that or maybe you don't quite understand that there is that Heavenly Father right there by you, rooting you on and helping you to say that I am a daughter of God, I am a woman of God.

And if that concept seems foreign, but you just see an inkling of, oh, I want to try that on, that's what I would challenge anyone who's listening. If you don't quite believe it or you want to, but you're really not sure, we'll take a step into it and just try it on and see if maybe it's possible. Maybe it's possible that I really am a child of heavenly parents who love me and want what's best for me and look for small ways that it's true test it out and see if there's a change in how you feel or what you see. And it's interesting kind of going here, because the last couple of days, that's kind of been a prayer for me and having this moment where I realized that I was seeing what Heavenly Father was doing for a lot of people around me, which was beautiful, marvelous things. But I had a moment where I realized maybe I wasn't seeing what he was doing for me and maybe I wasn't acknowledging it, which was kind of like a sucker punch right to the gut. Because I'm like, oh, my gosh. Heavenly Father, I am so sorry. Am I really sharing everything that you've done for me? And am I seeing that and acknowledging that? And I do have to say within the last couple of days where I am like, okay, I am going to see the very small things and the way that Heavenly Father loves me and is providing for me and making opportunities for me. It's been such a cool puzzle to put together. And all the small little things, I'm like, oh, my goodness, Heavenly Father, like, I am so sorry that I did not stop earlier, and thank you for that. Here's a small, small example. We had a pretty wild and fun weekend this last weekend from Friday through Monday afternoon, like, it was jampacked with bittersweet moments and family moments and love and connection. And so there were some late evenings with all of that. And Sunday mornings are not the easiest around our house. We try to get to church by 840 so people can help with their responsibilities and the boys can set up different things that need to be set up. And not everyone wants to get up Sunday morning at that time. And so it's like midnight Saturday night. We're just starting to crash into bed. I'm like, Heavenly Father, need help tomorrow morning. Please help. It to be easy to go to church because it can be a real battle sometimes. Even though we want to be there, we're human. It can be a real battle to get all of us up and going and on time. And that next morning, one particular child who struggles the most, and we've had to help him out of bed on multiple occasions because we know he wants to go. But the physical act of waking up is not easy. That child woke up before everyone else, just randomly woke up and started getting ready and going about their day. And I was kind of like, oh, my gosh, why are they up so early, right? Like, kind of complaining. I'm like, but it finally hit me. We got to church and everyone was there a little bit early, and if not on time, which is early, and I'll take it. But it wasn't until the afternoon that I was laying there resting. I was like, oh, my word, that was an answer to my prayers. I prayed that it would be a little bit easier to get out of bed Sunday morning. And I felt so ungrateful for not realizing it until Sunday afternoon. It took me a while, and I may have complained a little bit in the morning, right? And so test it out. Just say a little prayer. Test out a little prayer. Heavenly Father, are you there? If you don't know and if. You do know. And that's a belief that you choose to cling to show your gratitude. Find little ways to find that evidence that Heavenly Father is there for you and loves you as his daughter.

Yeah, and I think, too, you could even I know, just researching kind of that talk where a woman has, like, she didn't know who she was, and she repeated it almost every time she looked in a mirror, like, I am a child of God. I am a woman of God. I am a woman of God. Like, as much as she could until she realized that that's who she really is.

Oh, I love it, because that can go for any new thought. We fully believe that our thoughts create a whole lot within us, and they're optional. So we can choose the negative ones. We can choose positive ones that help us to create in our life, and it's optional. And so to test out new thoughts and try them on, and you could decide what those thoughts are, I don't have to sit here and say, Believe A-B-C and D. You get to test them out. So I love that. Plug it in. Plug in a sentence that may maybe you just hope that it's true. Plug it in and test it out and see what answer you find throughout your days. All right, Ms. Tiffany.

Okay. Ms. Lacey.

Okay. Well, I just love spending time with you. You are a woman of faith, but you love nature as well. I do love spending time with you, and you have a beautiful testimony, and it's evident in how you interact with others and how you just love on people. And I think it's because of that core foundation that you understand that you are a daughter of God.

Yeah. I truly believe that.