Ep. 42 Fostering Hope with Catharine Ryun

I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the Individual. Episode 42 Fostering Hope with Catharine Ryun our family recently spent some time with my husband's extended family as we celebrated the life of their beloved Uncle Hank. While we mourn for and with Hank's dear wife, we have also spent time loving and getting to know other family members better. It's that bittersweet experience of losing a loved one while also strengthening relationships with those who are here. After spending some time with Seth's cousin Catharine, I instantly knew she needed to share her story with you all. Catharine has relied heavily on her faith to run towards the next chapter. As the daughter of Anne and Jim Ryun, running and faith are just in her blood. Her father, Jim Ryun, was the first high school boy to run the mile in under four minutes and went on to participate in three Olympics before settling into his political career. Following in her father's footsteps and fortified with her mother's foundation of faith, catherine began working in Congressional offices and made her way to the White House, working for Congressmen and eventually the George W. Bush Administration. With time and through inspired events, catherine, a natural born advocate, has now opened her heart and home to babies in need through the foster care system. In today's episode, Catharine shares her personal journey caring for foster babies, the process of becoming a foster parent, and the impactful ways you can get involved in the foster care system. Listen as she shares valuable insights on surrendering control to God and embracing weaknesses and strengths. I hope her story leaves you feeling empowered and better able to see or seek God's path for you here's.

Catharine my name is Catharine Ryun and I am so excited to be part of this podcast. Lacey thanks for inviting me. And I think most important to my biography for this situation is that I am the cousin of Seth, who is the husband. So that's very important to mention at the get go. But I come from being born in California and raised in Kansas. I call myself a Cali Kansan, and I was privileged to be homeschooled third grade through 12th grade. My mom was an educator herself and decided to bring us all home because she wanted to give us the best education possible.

I didn't know this.

Oh, you didn't know this? Well, back in the day, neither did people. People didn't know what homeschooling was. And so we were the new thing. And I remember the Ups man coming to make a delivery when we were just starting to homeschool and we hid under the table because we were like, nobody does homeschooling, and we don't know what's he going to think. We're all at home. But my mom ran a very tight ship. We were not in our pajamas, and she kept us all in line. And the evidence of that was that we all had a great education. Fortunately, and so thankful for that, but it set me up to just be successful in life. Quite honestly, I think homeschooling builds in you the ability to take the initiative and to self learn, to self teach yourself. So that kind of just brought about in me an interest in figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. And quite honestly, I did not graduate from college. I did start college. And in the middle of my college experience, my dad ended up running for the US congress. And so, with their permission, I jumped out of school and onto my dad's campaign. And I ended up moving with my dad to DC and working in DC for a few years for another congressman. And that's a whole nother story. Nobody wanted to hire me because I was a congressman's daughter. But Congressman Steve Largent from Oklahoma, he also used to play for the Seahawks, big name in Seattle. I know, I was going to say.

Wait a minute, I know Steve Largent. Are we talking about the same person here?

Same guy.

Same guy.

So he took a chance and hired me, and I worked for him for a few years, and that launched my political career, which then led me to go work on the Bush campaign. And from the Bush campaign, I then ended up working for President George W. Bush for six years. So God blessed me with an amazing career. And I say all know college is meant to be for some people, and others it's not. And it's just what you do with it. To tell you the truth, you can still be very successful. After working in the White House for six years, I was ready for something different. I was a little burnt out, and running has been in my background, my family, for our PE classes, we always went out on a run. And my dad imagine Jim Ryun's your.

Dad, you're probably going to run a little bit.

Yes. And being the daughter of Jim Ryun, who for those on the podcast who don't, who are not runners and maybe aren't in their 70s, which probably are a lot of people not on this podcast, my dad was the first high school boy to run the mile under four minutes. And God blessed him with an amazing talent to run fast. And that led him to be in three Olympics in the 1500 meters. So running was a big deal. So I love endurance sports. So from the White House, I then went on to work for the Rock and Roll Marathon series in San Diego. Absolutely loved it. Enjoyed my time in San Diego. The Rock and Roll Marathon series got bought by Iron Man, the Triathlon Corporation, which then led me to move to Tampa. Okay. I spent a few years in Tampa working for Iron Man and then COVID hit. And like with a lot of businesses, there were some layoffs, and I was part of a massive layoff and while at the time it did not feel good, I was just open to what the Lord wanted to do next in my life. And I've learned in my life, when something doesn't go the way that I have planned, I pause and I think, okay, God, what are you doing? This might not feel good, but you're up to something, and it really gives you insight into seeking the Lord and really requesting from Him what might be next. So I took some time just to pray. It was about 30 days, honestly, just to pray and think about what was next in my life. And I've always wanted to be a mom, and I am single and was just curious how God was going to orchestrate that in my life. I have friends in Maryland who do cradle care, okay? And cradle care is when a mom decides to give her baby up for adoption, and then they have a 30 day window. The biom has a 30 day window in which she could say, I don't want to give my baby up for adoption. Okay? Ireland, they give those babies to cradle care families to be that interim family before they go to the adopted family, thus not breaking the adopted family's hearts.

Yeah.

So I thought, you know what? That's what I want to do. But in order to do that, I needed to get licensed in foster care. Okay? So I started my foster care training, and I learned while I was doing my foster care training that in Florida, where I live, we don't really do cradle care. So once again, I paused and I thought, OK, God, what are you doing?

What is this up to?

And I was midway through my foster care training, and quite honestly, Lacey, I had never thought about being a foster mom. I never wanted to be a foster mom. I had heard about the reputation of foster families, some foster families. I'm going to say that now and then also the foster care system and how frustrating it can be. But as I prayed, God changed my heart. And so that led me to finish my foster care training and become a foster mom. And I have learned so much in the process. And number one was, I'm single, can I be a foster parent?

Yeah.

And so, of course, as I'm asking all these questions of the foster care training agency, they say, yes, we'll take single people, we'll take pretty much anything. Quite honestly, they are so desperate for foster care families, we're in great need of more foster care parents. So that led me to becoming a foster mom. And I have so many things I can share, but that's kind of my biography. And also in addition to being a foster mom, I am working with my parents in their running camp. We put on the Jim Ryun running camp for high school kids, and it's a faith based running camp held in the summertime. So I'm able to work from home. I have a lot of flexibility to be able to get my work done between naps and diaper changes and doctor visits and visits with the bio parents. And the case manager was just here. People pop into your home all the time when you're a foster parent. So anyway, that's currently where I am and what I'm doing now.

Oh, I love it. I am like all the things right. We could have side conversations on every sentence that you just said. And so you've worked in the White House, you've worked on different campaigns and with your parents, you worked at home. So all these different experiences, and you have these beautiful achievements in your life prior to becoming a foster mom. But how does being a foster mom compare to your previous achievements?

I would have to say that my experience and working in the political arena and also in corporate USA and dealing with a lot of different personalities a lot of people who are humble and a lot of people who have egos, a lot of bullies and a lot of wonderful people as well. Definitely prepared me for working with the foster care system with bio parents in building a tough skin, but also staying tender hearted. And so I look back on my career and I honestly know this is right where I'm supposed to be. And God prepared me to be right where I am. Because my hope, Lacey, is in addition to being a foster mom, is also to help make some changes in the foster care laws and in the foster care system.

Can you see my silent clap over here? I'm like, oh my gosh, you're bringing all the pieces together.

Yes, amen. And I say, yay God right.

Like, amen. Because sometimes in order to create change, we've got to live through the system, whatever that system is, or the uncomfortable. And so could you have gone straight from the White House to creating change in the foster care system? Probably. Some people have. However, think about the impact that you will have in that system saying, hey, I am a foster mom.

Yes.

I have loved these babies. I have cried for these families. I have loved the families. Quite honestly, not just the babies, but loved the families. You've experienced every emotion alongside them and the joys and the frustrations. You know it inside and out.

Definitely.

And so how have you been prepared? We kind of covered this. But you've been prepared to become a foster mom.

Yes.

And so your faith is a huge piece of that. Like ginormous.

Absolutely.

And that's why I was like, oh my gosh, come on my podcast, let's talk about faith. Let's talk about all being a mom and a foster mom and everything. And how did your parents set you up for that?

So the way that my parents helped prepare me for being a mom quite honestly, is I have a wonderful example of a mom who just nurtured and cared and loved us in every way. And honestly, a lot of that was homeschooling too. And now that I am a mom and I realize what a sacrifice and sacrifices my mom made, it's incredible. But I also was encouraged and also always had a love for babies and children and caring. So part of my jobs were in high school were being a nanny and cleaning house and just learning the art of how to care and cultivate and nurture and form attachments with little ones. And so I would do it locally where I grew up in Lawrence, Kansas. And then we have family friends who would need nannies for blocks of time. So I would travel and go stay with their children for weeks or a month or whatever just to help out. So I definitely learned a lot of parenting skills and mothering skills through that process. And it just is natural to me. I love it. I absolutely love it.

What I love is that you have this focus kind of first on the individual, right? Your mom and your dad, they poured everything they have into you and your siblings, right, to really nurture and build you up. And so they gave you this foundation that you're then able to take out into the world and your community. And from that, you're now pouring all of that into these sweet, sweet, adorable babies that we all fell in love with when we saw you guys, right? And pour that, and then from there, those babies hopefully take these bits and pieces with whatever their adventure in life is.

Yes, absolutely.

Also your relationship with the bio families and you can pour into them. And so it's so interesting. My theme is to elevate the individual for the good of the whole, which is really what your family has done and what you are continuing to do with the work that you're doing in the fostering world. And so what is the process to become a foster parent?

So the process to becoming a foster parent was, at the time, for me, because it was COVID zoom classes every Saturday for, I think, about eight to ten weeks. We probably had four to six hour sessions during those Saturday afternoons. And it was quite convenient and easy, but the information was very interesting to me. But that's the first step. And I started with the first agency that was beginning their training, because once I got the green light that this is what I wanted to do, I thought, let's get on this ASAP. And as it turned out, Providentially, the first agency to start their training was a faith based group here in imagine that. Yes. Yes. So there are faith based agencies that do training. There are non faith based agencies. But I loved it because we always began with prayer, and that just blessed my heart. Very much and encouraged me. Some of the content, as you get deeper into the training, is a little bit difficult. And while I have set my profile to be just infants, newborns babies, you still need to go through a lot of that other training that's hard to take in. But then after you complete your training, then there's a home visit. They come and check out your home anywhere from the temperature of your liquid in your refrigerator to the temperature of the hot water coming out of your faucet.

Do they give you a checklist ahead of time?

They give you a checklist, and they just want to make certain that you are functional, clean, ready to take on the little foster baby or person that will be in your home and that you have safety measures in place as well. And then in addition to that, you also have a background check done. You get fingerprinted. You get a mug shot in case that is ever needed, and then you have references. And so you give them a list of people that you want them to talk to. That kind of encompasses the whole package, quite honestly. And I know I mentioned that my profile is just newborns, which I think is an interesting fact for people to know. You can request a certain age group in which you would like to receive that foster baby, kid, teenager, and different individuals are fit to take different age groups.

That was an interesting piece of information you shared this past weekend. And it just kind of was like, oh, sometimes it can be. I don't know, I guess I had a wrong impression, right, that if we were to step into this, then we would be opening our doors to whatever may be needed and necessary and the placements there. But you mentioned dialing your profile down to just those sweet babies.

Yes.

And so let's go into your experience and for sake of privacy, you'll leave out some information and that sort of thing, but maybe share with us what you can about the babies that you've had or how that process has gone.

So during my training, I asked several questions about what the process would look like, especially once I got licensed. And I asked one question about 50 different ways and never really got a straight answer. And that question was, how long will I have this child?

Yeah.

And the reason I didn't get an answer is because there is not a cookie cutter answer for that question. And it was definitely displayed in how my foster babies, how long they've been with me. So the first foster baby I had was for five days, and I picked him up at the regional hospital here, and I went to where the newborns are, and no one was around except for one nurse. She handed the baby to me with just a list of, here's what you do with a newborn when you take them home. And then she said goodbye and I was on my own. So it was a very interesting experience.

This is your introduction to caring for a baby.

Yes.

I'm so sorry.

And it turns out that the mom has some addictions and so she was not able to even see the baby. And so there was no interaction, there were no visits. And I was also told that we didn't know who the dad was. So as far as I knew, I was going to have this baby, at least for a few weeks. That was on a Monday. On a Friday, I get a call and they tell me that they have found the grandparents and I have a couple of hours to get this baby ready to go meet his new grandparents. And so that was really hard for me because I thought at least I would have a few weeks. And that is not the typical I want to be very clear, that is not the typical way a foster situation is handled. Usually there are meetings and conversations and lead up to a timing of when a reunification might take place. So it was a little difficult for me to relinquish that baby to the grandparents. Honestly, it was heartbreaking because in five days you get very attached. You don't realize how attached you can be.

Oh, I'm just like, did you just cuddle that baby for five days?

Oh, I did. And it was so sweet. Newborns are just adorable. I love them. And five months old. I have a seven month old right now, actually, and he's adorable too. But after I gave that baby over to the grandparents, I cried for two days and it was heartbreaking for me. But I also knew this is what God has called me to do. And so even in that process, I was getting ready to take another baby. And interestingly enough, I gave that baby up on a Friday. On Sunday, I was to speak at my church about my foster care journey and my genesis and kind of how things have started. And of course, my pastor was thinking, she just got a baby and she's going to share about how things are going. And of course, when I gave that baby up, I asked my pastor, I said, do you still want me to share? And they said, absolutely. So, in faith, with some tears, I shared on Sunday at church. And interestingly enough, Monday afternoon, I get a call that there is another baby ready to be picked up at the hospital. So I go to pick up the new baby and we'll call him Baby H. And at that time I'm thinking, how long am I going to have him? And every day I just loved on him and poured God's love into him and Lacey. An important thing for me is to pour as much of God's word into their lives as possible. And so God gave me this idea that while they're taking naps, to play the Bible on tape for them. And so I did that with the first baby, and then, of course, with Baby H continued just to pour God's love into him. And as it turns out, I had Baby H for 22 months. And so not knowing living on a daily basis of, am I going to have this baby tomorrow? Am I going to have him tomorrow? Am I going to have him tomorrow? Turned into 22 months. And it was a wonderful situation with Baby H. I absolutely loved him, and we bonded and we definitely became very close. It was a difficult journey with his biom, and it was the most difficult thing I did to give him up for reunification. But you also need to expect that as a foster mom, it could go one of two ways, where you reunify or there are times where the parental rights are removed and the baby does go up for adoption. But that is not something you plan on. Your goal is to reunify, and your goal is to want the best for the mom and the baby to be back together. And so during the process of getting closer to that reunification date and then handing the baby off to the mom was very difficult. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but I also came to the realization that I'm not doing this in my own strength, that God has to do it through me. And that is a question I get from a lot of people. They say, oh, I could never be a foster mom or foster dad. And I say you're right. You can't. God has to do it through you.

Yes.

And honestly, I didn't even know that or realize it until the days and weeks after I reunified Baby H. And so God gave me courage the day that I handed him off to his mom. And I told her, I said, I want you to know how much I love your son and I would do anything for him. And because I love him, I love you, and I want you to know I'm here for you. And so I gave her my Google voice number, which is also an interesting fact to becoming a foster mom is you never pass off your phone number, but you can do a Google Voice number. And as it turns out, that mom has not wanted to talk. It's been four months now, and she has not wanted to speak with me. But God has also given grace in that situation and knowing that I can be at peace, knowing God is keeping him safe and taking care of him during the process of grieving and mourning. And that's what I'm going to say. It was because it really was going one day, having this beautiful 22 month old little boy in my life to not having in my life. And I told God, I can't do this. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much. This giving up, this loving and giving up. So for about a month, I cried, and then God started to just heal my heart and gave me the courage to say yes again. And one note I want to say about that grieving process is everyone does it in their own way. And I have learned that. And while baby H is still alive and doing well, it was a point of saying goodbye and not having him in my life any longer. And I think it's important to let people grieve in their own way.

Yes.

And for me, it was being with my parents a lot that month because I needed to be with people and then eventually spending time on my own, which was fine, and God filled up the space, and then, like I said, gave me the courage to say yes again. And I said yes to my agency, so that just means giving them a call and saying, I want to be put back on the list, I'm ready to receive another baby. And even with that, I said it with tears.

That's like such a huge act of faith and just the heart breaking and healing and grieving and mourning and then healing and then opening it up a little bit more. Not to cut in, but what type? You've got your faith, you've got your parents, just this complete reliance on the Lord. Is there any other services offered? Like, I'm a coach for moms through the ups and downs, I'm like, oh, my gosh, what kind of services are offered to foster parents?

Anything? So we do have foster parent groups, like through Facebook, and then I have foster moms that are my friends. So definitely I was on the phone with them, just grieving and sharing. And nobody can really understand where you are in this process, honestly, unless you're another foster parent. There are other people with great empathy, like yourself, I think, who could understand what I was going through, but definitely talking about it and praying through it and prayer groups. Not staying, not internalizing it, but speaking talking about baby H. Some people thought it would be painful. In fact, somebody in my I live in a condo building, and somebody asked me to help them put their car seat, their grandson's car seat in their car, and they needed help, and they knew that I could do it. And they said, if this was in the process of my grieving, and they said, if it's too painful for you, just disregard it. And I said, no, I'm happy to help. And I love talking about baby H, honestly. So talking about it getting outside of your head definitely helped and just confiding in friends that, you know, could understand and help you through the process. So there are groups out there, and one of those groups was my licensing agency that I mentioned is faith based. And their first visit to my home after I reunified baby H, he said, you're not ready yet, you're not ready. And that was relieving to me, just that they gave me time and space to heal and that was a beautiful gift in itself. And so then when I did say yes, I was ready, my emotions were still there, but God gave me the courage. And interestingly enough, when you say you're ready and you say yes, you'll get calls.

I was going to say you probably had like she said yes, call her up.

And the hardest part about all those calls is saying no, because like I said, my profile is babies and I got calls about all different kinds of situations. And honestly, I just prayed, lord, when I saw that call come through, every time I saw the call come through, I'd say, Lord, help me to know, is this a green light or is this a red light? And I got several calls and then one day I knew the next day was going to be the day I'd get the call. It's just interesting when you open your heart up and say, okay, Lord, work in my heart and Holy Spirit, give me know it's interesting. The Holy Spirit is our free counselor. People pay for counseling, but we get it free.

Amen.

And just let the Holy Spirit speak to us. And he really did. And I got the call, I was in a store and they said, we've got a five month old for you and here's the situation and can we bring them by this afternoon? And I said yes and got off the phone and cried again, just because I know more of what goes into it. And I know I'm saying I'm crying a lot. I am emotional person, and my parents keep telling me it's a gift, emotions are a gift, and so it's okay.

I was thinking about this today and just thinking about this last year of really going on my own as a coach and working with my clients and the moms. And there was one point in an internship that I did where we had to critique a call and it was a coaching session that I had done, and we were supposed to turn in our worst call, right? Because we want to just love on each other and point out how we could do a little bit better, but also just love on each other. And so the call I picked was because I had cried with my client. And in my mind, I wanted to be this really unbiased person that could just see black and white and kind of hold the space and allow the client to cry and get emotional. But I could see outside of what was going on, I could see why they were crying and that emotion was being caused. And it really hit me that one of my gifts is. To cry with my clients. Yes, I thought it was a weakness, but it's a strength.

It is. It's such a strength.

And so amen to that. I think it's a gift. I love it, but I've had to come to accept that.

Yes. And it's okay and it's all right. We have to let that it is a gift that God gives us and we have to let those emotions out. And quite honestly, I know that the Lord loves to use our weaknesses to make us strong. And so many times being a foster mom, I feel people try to put me on a pedestal that I am this so spiritual person, and I'm not. It doesn't take being a very spiritual person to be a foster parent. It takes giving the Lord what you have and watching Him and seeing what he can do with it. And so taking my little bit of faith and my little bit of courage and my little bit of strength and then giving it to Him and see what he can make of it. And so that's a lot of what being a foster parent is, is just being willing, surrendering, a lot of it's being out of control because so much of it is out of your control and just letting God work.

Amen to all of that. And you've learned so much about yourself through this. You've learned so much about the fostering system through this and those sweet babies that you have. What message do you have for someone who has maybe kind of had it in the back of their mind and wondering because we talk about May. May is yes. You tell me what's special about May month.

Yes. Foster care month coming up. Okay. Love it.

So if someone's maybe just starting to kind of open that door or ponder on it, what would you say to them about that?

Honestly, my best piece of advice is to find an agency in your area and just get started in the training. When you start your training, you are not saying, yes, I will be a foster parent. You're saying, yes, I'm interested, and I want to open that door. And as we know, education and knowledge helps us make decisions. Right. And God will confirm or not confirm it in your heart as you go through the process. And so I just say open the door and say yes and see where God leads you.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, man, back. A part of me is like, yeah, you open that door and the Heavenly Father is just going to fling it right open and be like, all right, we're ready, let's do this. But yeah, what a beautiful piece of advice to just step into it because it might be there, it might be on your heart. And should you go to a meeting or start looking into it, it could very well be, oh, okay, this is different than I expected. And I now know that this is not the right path for me right now or what have you, but just because you open that door doesn't mean you're going to walk away with a baby.

No. And Lacey, one thing I always emphasize is not everyone is called to be a foster parent and only become a foster parent if God is calling you to do that. And there is no guilt associated one way or the other with that decision. There are so many other ways you can help out in the foster world. There may be a foster ministry you can become involved with at your church, or you can start in your church. You can help through different portal systems, find who the foster families are and just come around them and bring meals and offer babysitting. You can become a respite caretaker, which is another way you can become involved. And that is you do have to become licensed and have a background check. But that means that you are willing and able to give a break to foster parents, whether that means a weekend or a night or a day in Florida. And I don't know if this is true in all states, but I know in Florida, for 72 hours, I am able to leave my foster baby with anybody that I would trust to babysit for me.

That was a question I have.

Yeah. Isn't that interesting?

Yes. So, like your parents?

Yes, like my parents. I can definitely leave him for that amount of time, but if it's longer, it needs to be with a respite caretaker. So, like I said, that is another license that you need to receive and a background check done on you. But that is an option if you want to kind of dip your toe into foster care and just do it part time.

Oh, okay. So when you look at the agency as a whole, there's a lot of moving pieces to it. Yes, caring for a baby is one piece of it, but there's a lot that needs to go into helping run this agency. And when we were talking a couple of days ago, you mentioned even foster closets for supplies. So it's a foster closet, right? If I have that term, yes. Okay, tell me about that.

Oh, it's such a beautiful thing. So mostly churches have started foster closets. There are three different foster closets here in the Tampa Bay area, and that is a location where individuals bring gently used or brand new items and they donate those items. And as a foster mom, I can stop by and pick up whatever I need. It could be anywhere from a stroller to diapers to formula to blankets to clothes. It is a beautiful place and it's all free. And so I love our foster closets. I also then recycle my things once the babies grow out of whatever clothes or items they no longer need. You're hearing Mr. Handsome right now. Agreeing with me on how much he loves the foster closets.

Oh, he's the chunkiest, cutest kid. I just have to tell you friends, he is adorable.

He is. He's a sweetheart and a great sense of humor, even at seven months old. He's very funny. But that's another thing. On a side note, just what delight these foster kids can bring to your heart? While it might be challenging to become a foster parent and get yourself involved in the foster system, don't limit the ways in which God can bless you through these little foster babies and foster children. So that's a side note. But going back to foster closets, that's also a ministry, something maybe you can start in your community if there is not already an existing foster closet, because there is.

Along with caring for this baby, there's a financial impact.

Yes, definitely.

Is assistance provided? What's the financial impact for you?

Yes. So it's different in every state, but once you do receive a placement of a foster child, you do receive a stipend, and it's different in every state. So I don't know what the amount would be in each state, but with that baby, their health care needs are taken care of. And then also if you decide that you need to take your child, your foster child, to daycare, that is also something that is taken care of. So the state does a lot to make certain that you're set up for success as much as possible. But it's different with each foster child. Some have more needs, some have less needs. It's never a blanket answer to any of these questions. And I also know sometimes the stipend is not enough, and that's obviously not the reason why we do it, correct. Not to receive the stipend. Right.

This isn't a way to pad your bank account, right? Some babies do have medical needs.

Yes.

So I was thinking about this this morning. Your role and responsibility is to care for that baby as if it were your own and they needed medical attention, like you signed up for the doctor's appointments. Am I correct? How does all that medical situation work?

Correct. So there are two different kinds of foster licenses. One is a regular license that I have. Another is for elevated medical needs. And so that is something that you would know that you're signing up for and that you're trained for. But as a regular licensed foster mom. Yes. I am in charge of making the appointments for the foster baby that I have. If he needs anything special, like getting circumcised, or if he has other medical issues, then that is something that I would take care of. Scheduling and then informing my case manager that we're going on this day for this appointment. And at certain times, maybe you're including the biomom, maybe you're not. It just depends on the case and kind of what's going on in that situation. Okay.

And then also visitation?

Yes.

What is visitation like in frequency? Each case is going to be different, would be my assumption.

Correct? It is different. Generally you start out with weekly 2 hours supervised and it could look anywhere from me taking the baby to the biom or the case manager coming and picking up the baby. It looks different in each case. I was much more involved in the first case I had and sitting through the visits with the baby I currently have, I drop the baby off at the case manager's office, the parents do the visit, and then I go pick the baby back up. So like I said, it's different with each case. But generally they start out with 2 hours supervised and then it goes to gradually longer hours and gradually unsupervised. And then eventually it turns into overnights where the bio parents will take the kiddos or the baby overnight and then maybe for the weekend and then leads up to reunification.

Because that's the goal, right?

That is the goal. Unless it's changed. And then if it is changed at any time, it's when the parental rights are removed. But that is something that is decided by the lawyers and the case manager. But the main goal is always reunification, trying to get the babies back with their bio families.

So that's a lot of work on the other side of it. And you mentioned a case worker. Do we or do we not have enough case workers right now in the foster system?

We do not. I know different case managers have up to 40 to 60 kids in their caseload. And that's a lot because they need to do visits in my home on a regular basis. They need to supervise visits with the bioparents. They have a lot of responsibilities. And so I try to do whatever I can to help out my case. Yeah, I could ask her to come pick up my baby and take him to the visits, but I know that's one thing that I can do to help her and so I choose to do that. Another thing we're lacking Lacey, which I will mention, is guardian at Litems. And so if you're also looking for a way to get involved and you don't want to be a foster parent, that is not your calling. You can become a guardian at Litem and that is another process that you get licensed to be. And that individual is involved in the case. There are many people involved in one case that guardian at Litem is only looking to what is best for the baby or the child. That is their only responsibility. They are coming to visit me. They're visiting the child. They're seeing how he's doing. And then when we go to court with the judge, they're speaking up on behalf of the child. What is best for the child.

Yeah.

And so that's important because these little babies and children and teenagers, they need someone who's just focused on them.

It's their advocate.

Yes, correct.

It's their advocate that does not have I'm sure they might have an emotional attachment.

Right.

But they don't have a bias one way or the other, other than that child and that child's needs and well being.

Yes, correct. And in Florida, that is purely a volunteer.

So it's a volunteer situation.

I know, and I don't know how it is in every state, but it definitely is something that's needed in the system and is such a blessing to foster kids. So if you're looking for a way to minister and to speak up for little ones who are vulnerable and don't have a voice, that is something that is absolutely needed all across the nation, not just in yeah, yeah.

Well, there's lots of moving pieces to it.

Yes.

Before we close out our conversation, is there any last message that you'd like to share with the listeners?

So, Lacey, what I would share with anyone thinking about fostering or becoming involved in the foster world is to think about how much Jesus emphasized in the Bible about little ones and little babies, little children, and how much he cared for them and what a wonderful responsibility and privilege we have to care for them. So whatever capacity that is, whether they're your nieces or nephews or your own bio children, caring for little children is such the heart of God, and it's a beautiful place that we can step into. And it's much needed in the foster system, especially where we can take a role to pour God's love into these little ones and to make a difference in their lives. And I truly believe that no matter how long I have a baby, whether it's five days or 22 months or for instance, right now it's been three months, that the love and the prayers and the songs that I sing over him are going to make an impact on his life for the rest of his life. Studies show that zero to three years old are the most foundational fundamental years of little ones lives, and I want to set them up for success. And so making an impact on their lives and in their spirits, I know is going to make a difference in their lives no matter if I get to see them again or if they're 20 or 30 and they come back around and say, you made a difference. But that's what I would leave people with, is just really thinking about the impact that we have on vulnerable little ones that can't speak for themselves.

Well, amen to all of that. It's just been such a cool experience for our little family to see your experience. And it's only been a couple of days that we've even been in that little realm with you. And so thank you. Thank you for sharing, not being shy about your faith and how that has played such a huge role and that you said something earlier about college, right? Like, hey, you didn't graduate from college, but Avenue A, B and C are also available to you. And so everyone's path is so different. And if we can just trust in the Lord along the way and really put our faith in Him because he knows, hey, yeah, you may be looking at this path over here, but I have this beautiful path with a view and experiences over here. Let's work together on this.

Yes. And Lacey, if I can just mention one other thing too, and I know I referenced it a little bit before, but being single, you never know the path that God's going to take you on. And currently I am single and that's where God has me. And so just being willing to let the Lord work in your lives, whether you're single or married or divorced, wherever God has you, and not limiting what he can do through you, taking the little bit that you have and just giving it to Him and watch with expectation to see what he can do with it. I can tell you it has been such a blessing in my life because I am at the point where I feel very blessed and fulfilled and I know I'm right where God wants me to be.

Oh, yes, so many times we use that, well, I should be here or I should be doing this or my life should look like this.

No, everybody's journey is different.

Thank you again to Catharine for sharing her story and her love and her faith as we kick off Foster Care Awareness Month. If you know of an individual or agency or program that you'd love for us to highlight within the foster care system, please reach out through the website and send that information in so we can dig into it. Thanks again, friends, for being here. We'll see you next week.