Ep. 47 Are You Thriving or Surviving?

I'm Lacey Jones with Elevate the Individual. Episode 47. Are you thriving or surviving? Before we dig into today's episode, I just want to say a huge, big thank you to all of those who helped make the Raising Confident Mother's magazine launch a success. Seriously, you all are amazing. So thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you to all of you who have subscribed. And just an even bigger thank you to all of you who've been cheering me on in this whole process. It is just so cool to see how this thing has snowballed and how we're able to help more and more women as they seek to develop their talents and get after their goals while raising their families and communities. So it's a pretty awesome journey, and I am so excited for everything that we've been able to do so far and for everything that we have coming up in this next year.

It's going to be awesome.

So thank you. Thank you. This week, I want to dive a little deeper into a concept that was mentioned in one of the articles of our first issue of Raising Confident Mothers. I did a feature article on Heather Macy, who happens to be a lifelong teacher and educator, and I've known Heather for several years now, but I've just really gotten to know her this past year, even more so as I've been a sub in her classroom. And in the process of interviewing her for the magazine article, I asked her what advice she would offer to new teachers entering their professional career. And she encouraged new teachers to find their marigolds and to plant themselves next to the right people. And this idea of finding your marigold is a reference to an article written by Jennifer Gonzalez titled Find Your Marigold the One Essential Rule for New Teachers. And I will post a link in the show notes that goes right to that article. It's beautiful, and I want to make sure that we give Jennifer the credit for what she's done. So please read that because it is beautiful. But I'm going to take this concept and dig into it a little more because there are several beneficial messages within it. And this idea of finding your marigold comes from a gardening concept called companion planting. So if we go to the Farmers Almanac, it states that companion planting is a great way to maximize the efficiency of your garden. For almost every vegetable that you grow, there is likely to be a beneficial companion plant that will help increase soil nutrients and chase away pests and help you get the most out of your garden. Did you know that? I sure didn't know that. For example, when you grow tomatoes, the Almanac states that basil and tomatoes were made to go together, not only in sauces, but in the garden as well. This herb helps tomatoes produce greater yields, and it repels both flies and mosquitoes. And marigolds are another good companion repelling, nematodes and other garden pests. Other friends to tomatoes include asparagus, carrots, celery, the onion family, lettuce, parsley and spinach. Now, on the other hand, the tomato has foes as well. Among them are cabbage and beets, peas, fennel, dill and rosemary. Corn and tomatoes both suffer from the corn earworm, and tomatoes and potatoes are affected by the same blight. So keep these plants separate to prevent the spread of pest or disease. So, a little gardening lesson for those who are in the midst of tending their gardens this spring day. But when planting your veggies, you have to consider their neighboring plants if you want to ensure a positive outcome. Planting veggies next to friendly counterparts encourages your veggies to use all of their resources and energy to grow and bear this delicious fruit. And while planting your veggies next to counterparts that deplete them, that means that all their energy that would have potentially gone towards growing and bearing fruit has to be diverted and used to protect the vegetable from the harmful effects of enemy plants. So tomatoes and corn may seem like a completely acceptable pairing and friendship, but with time, that corn is going to infect and pester your poor little tomato plants and prevent them from developing. Well, Gonzalez lists walnut trees as one of the major foes to most vegetables. She states in her article that successful gardeners avoid planting vegetables anywhere near walnut trees, which give off a toxic substance that can inhibit growth and wilt and ultimately kill nearby vegetable plants. Now, this does not mean that walnut trees should be totally cut out and that they're 100% bad. I would agree to the contrary. Walnut trees produce walnuts, and there are several known health benefits to consuming walnuts. And a walnut tree provides beautiful wood and shade.

But when it comes to vegetables, walnuts can be deadly.

So how does this apply to your mental health and raising your family and your community? Our relationships and interactions with the people around us are some of the biggest.

Components of our mental health. Think about it.

It is nearly impossible to exist on this planet without interacting with other people. We have to communicate in order to exist. And this communication can generate positive as well as negative effects on our mental health.

Well, just like that tomato plant, we.

Have to use our energy to grow.

And develop and bear the fruits of.

Our talents and our gifts and our unique characteristics.

And when we grow next to people.

Who feed and nourish and protect us, our energy can be converted into amazing resources that allow others to grow and develop in new and beautiful ways. But when we are planted next to people who don't nourish us, we have to divert some of that energy that would have gone towards bearing the fruits of our talents. And we have to use that energy to protect ourselves and ward off the effects of others who knowingly or unknowingly have a negative impact on our mental health. We can still be happy and peaceful next to someone who isn't necessarily nourishing.

Our mental health, right?

Peace is still available to us with knowledge and tools and effort, we can create a beautiful life alongside these types of people and in these types of kind of negative circumstances that is always available to us. And we often find ourselves in these situations within our own homes or extended families or work environments and daily social interactions. Picture yourself on the freeway or at the grocery store. Picture yourself raising a teenager or dealing.

With inlaws unquote outlaws, right?

We exist in these situations where not everyone is going to nourish and strengthen.

Us if someone cuts us off on.

The freeway or takes our parking place that we've been waiting ten minutes for. We can still maintain a feeling of peace within ourselves by formulating a narrative that specifically creates that emotion. Sometimes we'll have to dig deep as we formulate a narrative to create peace in that situation that seems genuine and believable and not just toxic positivity.

And sometimes it'll just be second nature.

Due to the work that we've done throughout our whole lives and how we've been raised. Different situations will call for different amounts of energy to create the narrative that creates the emotion that we want. But eventually there will come a time when we have to evaluate the amount.

Of energy required to formulate that narrative that creates the piece. And we'll have to decide is the amount of energy that we're using what we want to continue using and diverting.

Away from our creation of our talents and our gifts?

Or do we want to divert that energy elsewhere?

Maybe it's time to use that energy to develop your talents, your gifts, to create an environment that helps others around you to grow and flourish.

So you can either use your energy.

To protect and maintain, or you can use your energy to nourish and develop and grow and share light. In order to do this, you have to first gain an awareness of where your energy is being used. Are you in a state of protecting and maintaining?

If so, is that where you want to be? Sometimes it is.

Sometimes the relationships and situations you are in will warrant a diversion of your.

Energy to protect and maintain the status quo again. Raising Teenagers maybe the energy being used to raise teenagers is being pulled away.

From energies to grow certain talents and gifts. But maybe that's okay. Maybe that teenager is a priority over.

Those other talents and gifts, right? So you've got to decide if the diversion of energy is appropriate at that time.

If you consider the path towards your goals and where you want to be, there's always going to be kind of these times of maintaining as well as times of growth. You will need to decide if those times of maintenance and growth are within.

A balance that serves you.

Now, if you look at it and the balance is out of whack and you always seem to be in this.

State of protection and maintaining, maybe it's.

Time to consider a change. Maybe it's time to consider uprooting yourself and replanting yourself next to something or someone that will allow you to use your energy towards development and growth. The process of uprooting yourself and replanting yourself will always require energy. But the goal of that transplant process is to land you in a place that nourishes you in a way that your energy can more easily be used to grow and develop and strengthen others. So, for example, this past year, I have been spending some of my time substitute teaching in our school district. I have subbed at the high school level, I've subbed at the elementary school level, I've subbed in general education classes as well as some of our more special needs classrooms. I've subbed in all grade levels from kindergarten through 6th grade. I've been in the classroom as well as in the gym as a PE teacher, and I've been in the library. And I'm actually going to go into.

A little more of this in depth.

Next week on the podcast. But for today, I'll share just this one little example. So, within all of this subbing, I have learned which classroom environments require more.

Or less of my energy to maintain status quo. I have learned which ones allow me.

To divert energy towards growth and expansion, and which ones require me to go into protection mode just to maintain the level of personal peace that I want.

To have within me.

As a result, I have drawn some boundaries as to which classrooms I will or won't teach in. When I show up as a guest teacher, I want to bring my best self I want to love on all of those kids and encourage them to be their best selves. I cannot do that if I'm in survival mode. So I say no when requests come in for subbing in certain classrooms. This allows me to have a greater positive impact on the students within my care. And there are other people who can thrive within the environments where I would merely be surviving. That is why everyone has talents that are unique to them. This world needs diversity of talents, gifts, and personality. We need a full garden of plants that can nourish one another as we grow towards a beautiful harvest. So this week, I challenge you to.

Consider where you are planted.

Are you planted next to marigolds who encourage you to grow and develop? Or are you sitting in the shade of the walnut tree, expending more energy.

On survival rather than thriving?

If you need help determining where you are planted, or if you want help making a plan to uproot yourself, please reach out. The mentor sessions would be perfect for you. It's a series of four coaching sessions, and we work through that decision. Process of is it time to make a change? How will I make a change? Where am I going with this change? And any of the insecurities that come.

Up along the way.

It is a beautiful process, and four.

Sessions will help you sail right through that.

This is, again, beautiful work, and I'm.

Here to help you.

So thank you for listening, thank you for being here, and please take care in the work that you're doing. And I'll see you next week.